Forsaken
by Prettie Parker
Summary: A single life choice, made even with the best of intentions, can take you down a road you never imagined you'd venture and take you to a place you never thought you'd find. Jax/OC
1. Chapter 1

**Authors note:** This story is very gritty story and at times may be hard to read. For those who have read my stories before, you probably aren't surprised by this note. Fluff stories aren't what I write. I have nothing against them, but it's not what I do. Gritty, painful, heartfelt stories are what I'm good at. They're what I know. And this story is no different. I try to take the reader to a place they've been never before, maybe a place they never imagined they'd go and show it to them in brutal empathic honesty. My characters aren't black and white, neither are their stories. They've very grey and murky. And at times you might hate them and the next breath understand them. I'm warning everyone now. This is a very gritty story, but it's one I've played with in my head for years and it was finally ready to come out. Also, I put this story starting at about season 1 or just before it.

* * *

 **Part 1: You Don't Know What You Got Until It's Gone**

"The young and the beautiful have nothing to fear but time"

 _On the first page of our story, the future seemed so bright  
Then this thing turned out so evil, I don't know why I'm still surprised_

The club and her dad was all Cheyenne ever had. Daughter to Tig Trager, sergeant at arms to Sons of Anarchy mother charter and Clay's right hand man. Cheyenne held the same passion and loyalty to the club her old man did. She was raised by her father and the club after her mom died when she was just a baby. Motorcycle accident, after her dad went down on a busy highway and mom slide into traffic. Her step-mom for a short while- Colleen, Fawn and Dawn's mom, always hated her for being the daughter of the only women her father ever really loved. And when that marriage quickly fell apart after a few years, Cheyenne didn't see much of her half-sisters.

Tig was her hero, the club her world, and Jax and Opie were her partners in crime. Six years apart in age, they looked out for her when she was little and became close friends by the time she was a teenager. They had grown up together. Not many kids stayed around the club for long made their fates sealed from the start. Her bond with Jax was extra close. He was her best friend, even more than Ope. Which considering all the time she spent at the Teller-Morrow household while growing up, with Gemma practically raising her, it made sense.

Daddy's little girl. Tig was very protective of Cheyenne. He'd been called overprotective more than once. Cheyenne had seen a lot growing up around the club. She was no stranger to life on the fringe of society, but Tig had always kept her close. Boyfriends were hard to come by. And not because the boys didn't chase after her either.

At five feet-eight inches tall, her body long and lean, with long blonde hair that glistened like gold in the California sunlight, and eyes that shined like sapphires, the boys followed her like a moth to a flame. But it was Tig who scared them off. No one was good enough for his little girl. And that's all the more reason why he struggled with his little girl's sacrifice for the club. It had taken him the longest to come around to the idea, but eventually he did, because his daughter wasn't a little girl anymore, she could make her own choices, and her loyalty for the club was as fierce as his.

Tonight Cheyenne found herself out at the cabin. Seated on the wooden front porch step, Jax by her side as they passed a bottle of whiskey between them. They said it was in celebration, but secretly they both knew it was to kill their nerves and because it very well could be the last night they get to be just them. Opie and Donna had come out for a few hours earlier in the night. Just the four of them, like it had been for so long, because they all knew this night would be the end and start of something new.

This late at night the woods are deathly quiet. The trees and darkness erupt a sound every once in a while, but knowing there's not another soul for miles makes you feel completely alone and free all in the same breath.

"You don't have to do this; you know that right? You can still change your mind." Jax speaks up suddenly, killing the peaceful silence they had been sharing a drink over. Reminding her of what's hanging over them as he shoots Cheyenne a sideways glance and pulls the half empty bottle of whiskey from his lips after swallowing.

Cheyenne let's out an airy laugh as she shakes her head to his comment. Snatching the bottle from his grip she pulls it for herself.

"I'm getting married tomorrow Jax. Think it's a little late to back out now." She laughs, before taking a quick swig.

"Besides, I want to do this." She states with full conviction and a firm nod.

At twenty-three Cheyenne doesn't have many life plans. She works at a local diner as a waitress during the day, but that's only to pay the bills. Her heart and soul belongs to the club. It's all she's ever wanted; all she's ever known. So when the club presented the idea of her marrying the son of Cameron Hayes and what the deal would bring for Samcro, Cheyenne didn't think they were half crazy. No one pressured her, she's not even sure where the idea originated from, and she thought it over long and hard before making her decision, but it was something she could and wanted to do for the club, for her dad, for her family.

Cheyenne knows it's crazy she's marrying a man she doesn't know tomorrow. She knows most people don't understand why she agreed, especially her dad and Jax. But it's a choice she stands by. The club is her family and she'd do anything for them. Including marry the son of a notorious IRA leader. All she ever wanted to be when she grew up was Gemma, a strong old lady, but this was something even better.

Marrying Edmond Hayes would deeply expand the gun business and create new connections for Samcro. Her marriage will open up an even bigger pipeline for the Sons and open up a new smuggling route for the IRA. She couldn't say no to that opportunity for them. Nerves tighten her belly as she sits beside Jax, but she reminds herself people have arranged marriages all the time and they turn out for the best. She trusts the club would never steer her wrong.

"Who knows, maybe he'll fall madly in love with me." She drunkenly laughs, her head falling back as a deep guttural laugh vibrates off her lips. She pictures Edmond Hayes in her mind and even drunk off whiskey, it isn't a bad sight.

"He's isn't half bad, yeah know. Cute even. I could have done much worse." She notes, before taking another hearty swig.

"He's the lucky one, Darlin." Jax says in that way that always captures attention and holds it captive.

Cheyenne can hear a change in Jax's voice. A deeper richer quality then he had just moments before. Her belly tightens with the sense that his words mean something more. She can feel Jax's eyes upon her as her face turns to meet his gaze. His steel blue eyes cut through her like a knife. Even drunk, they shine like a fiery beacon in the dark. The liquor swimming through her veins can't numb the butterflies that stirs in her belly to the look in Jax's eyes.

"Thanks for taking me out here tonight." Cheyenne says lost in his gaze in a way she can sense is dangerous, but she can't seem to pull back from.

He's never looked at her quite like this before and she finds herself unable to look away. They're both drunk, that much she's sure of. And he's best friend in the whole god-damn world, but the way he's looking at her right now, shrouded in the dark of the woods, makes it hard to Cheyenne to breathe.

"Couldn't miss your last night of freedom." Jax responses, a panty-dropping smirk eclipsing his face as he can't take his eyes off of her.

Sitting alone on the porch beside one of her few friends, a friend she's known all her life, Cheyenne wishes Opie and Donna hadn't left so soon. She knows they needed to get back to their babies, but sitting beside Jax now, it feels dangerous the thoughts swirling in her head.

She doesn't know if it's the whiskey, her nerves over tomorrow, the deep seeded torch she's secretly held for Jax all these years, or some twisted combination of the three, but Cheyenne finds herself leaning across the porch step to capture Jax's lips with her own.

The kiss only lasts for a few seconds before Jax quickly pulls back. His face downcast, his eyes away from her. She knows he's feeling guilty without him ever needing to say a word. She knows his mind and heart are waging a war against each other in a way Jax does so often. And she knows which side wins as his face lifts and his eyes find hers again. His soulful eyes penetrate hers as he searches her gaze for a long moment.

Cheyenne doesn't realize she's been holding her breath under the weight of his gaze until she feels his hands envelope her face. She takes a quick breath in, locked on his eyes as Jax slowly leans in to kiss her again. And in that moment as their mouths meet, as he kisses slow and deep, Cheyenne realizes it was a bad idea for them to be alone with a bottle of whiskey tonight.

They're stumbling through the cabin in a drunken frenzy before either could consider being reasonable about this. A different piece of clothing discarded every few steps as they move blindly to the bedroom. Jax takes the lead, his experienced hands and mouth seducing her beyond the logical thought of consequence. Spread across the blankets, her bare skin prickled from the cool night air and the feel of Jax's hot mouth dragging against it, Cheyenne knows this is probably a mistake, but not one she's going to stop.

Cheyenne doesn't hook up, it's never interested her, but as Jax hovers over her, their eyes locked in a palpable drunken stare as he rocks inside her, this doesn't feel like a hook up. The look in his eyes as their bodies move together as one feels like he can reach anywhere inside her, deep inside her and see everything. The intoxicating darkness in Jax's eyes makes Cheyenne feel like what they share is some deep soul connection that would pull them together no what the obstacle. And when it's over, she knows, drunk or not, that was the best sex of her life.

When she awakens the next morning, Cheyenne is beside herself when she realizes what she's done. Already late to get ready for her wedding and she's awaken naked in bed with her best friend. She's frantic as she storms the cabin pulling her clothes back on piece by piece. She doesn't do this; this isn't the kind of girl she is. She doesn't hook up, despite watching it go on around her while growing up, she never saw the point in meaningless sex, and she never imagined she was the kind of girl who could sleep with another man the night before her wedding. Even if she is about to marry a man she doesn't know.

The only comfort Cheyenne finds is when Jax finally gets ahold of her. Hung over and looking guilty as hell, Jax apologizes profusely before he swears to her no one will ever find out. Pulling her into a tight enveloping hug, Jax emphasizes his promise as he tries to calm the twister swirling around inside her.

* * *

Cheyenne married Edmond Hayes that day, surrounded by the people she loves most, in a joyous celebration that brought two families together, and a secret she swears she'll take to her grave. A secret she's determined to not let ruin this new phase of her life. And that fantasy almost feels true when Liam Hayes is born nine months later. He's a sign to every one of the success the union of Samcro and the IRA was. Cements Edmond and Cheyenne's marriage, and breeds new hope of generations to come. But it was too good to be true.

Leaving the maternity ward at St. Thomas Hospital Gemma can't hold back her feelings any longer as she darts into the hospital chapel and drags her son behind her. Her focused eyes scan the chapel to ensure they are in fact alone before turns on her son.

"What the hell did you do!" Gemma spits out, missing no words.

Jax's eyes narrow with confusion as he shakes loose of his mother's grip. "What are you talking about?"

An unamused huff leaves her flustered chest. "You do know I've been watching you your whole life, right? Every goddamn minute."

Jax eyes his mother back equally unamused. "Yeah, you've made that very clear. Now what are you trying to get-" He answers back flippantly losing his patience.

"That is not a Hayes baby." She practically hisses out, her frantic gaze sweeping the chapel once more. Needing that added reassurance they're alone.

"If I pulled a picture from when you were born that baby would be it. Now, I'm going to ask you one more time Jackson, what the hell did you do?" Gemma insistently demands.

Jax visibly pales as the realization of what his mother is saying hits him. His stomach coils into suffocating knots and he feels like the floor is falling out from under him as he moves to take a seat in one of the pews. Jax's face falls into his waiting hands as his world and everything he's known about it crumbles around him.

"How could you be so stupid. Sleeping with another man's wife. He's with the goddamn IRA." Gemma hisses at Jax's crumpled form.

The implication of her words sends Jax's guilty face shooting back up to his mother as he adamantly shakes his head from side to side.

"We're not sleeping together. It happened one time. That's it. The night before the wedding. We were drunk." A deep heated breath shoots past his lips as the pieces of this come together in his mind. "Fuck." He practically chokes.

Gemma watches her son for a long moment, trying to decide if she believes this version of events, but seeing the torment written all over Jax's devastated face, she knows he's not lying. She also knows that doesn't matter, because no else would believe that story if the truth was ever revealed.

"This could get you both killed." Gemma acknowledges on a heavy breath as the thought of the ramifications of this surfaces in her mind.

"I know," Jax says, his lost eyes shooting to his mother for some direction as he tries to wrap his mind around the unthinkable.

When Cheyenne got pregnant right away he never second guessed it. She and Hayes were young newlyweds, it made sense. Sure, Cheyenne didn't know Edmond before, but they seemed to hit it off right away and he knew she was committed to making it work. And they had both promised to forget what happened that night. He can see now that putting it behind them was never really an option.

The wheels spin quickly in Gemma's mind. This is her son, her baby boy, she'd do anything to protect him. And Cheyenne was like a daughter to her too. She practically raised that girl.

"So far no one seems to notice anything. You're just lucky he didn't get the family flaw. You keep to the lie. I'll make sure Cheyenne does too. No one can ever know." She says adamantly like a strong mother bears whose cubs are being circled.

The realization of what his mother is asking of him sinks Jax's heart. He's trying to come to terms with the fact that he's a father, but the significance of this baby being his feels very real to Jax's heart.

"But he's my son." Jax breathes out in a heavy whisper. The words leaving a choking feeling in his throat, because he knows the only way he can protect him is to let him go.

Grabbing Jax by the chin, Gemma draws her son's face to her own. Making them meet eye to eye.

"Not if you want to keep him and Cheyenne safe." She drills into Jax. Refusing to let that bleeding heart of his be his own demise. The thought of this situation makes her sick too. Having a grandchild, she can't claim, a grandson. But it's not worth the risk to her son's life.

* * *

When Cheyenne and Edmond first married she felt confident she had made the right choice. He was handsome and kind, and genuinely tried to win her heart. She could see in his eyes he was infatuated by her, was falling in love with her, and slowly he did. Slowly as they both grew to know each other they found love. Cheyenne had been hopefully of the future, but the first cracks appeared in her perfect family picture when Liam was born.

The birth of her son brought Cheyenne's heart to life. Taught her what real love is, but it also filled her gut with an unshakable dread, that's never fully gone away. In her heart she had known the truth the moment she saw Liam, but that feeling was only confirmed by Gemma. Sworn to secrecy, Cheyenne would never do anything to threaten Liam or Jax's safety. Having grown up without a mother made Cheyenne a fierce one herself. One that would do anything for her child. And even though Cheyenne hadn't given up hope, she realized that perfect little family she had in her head wasn't going to be what she expected.

Jax kept his word to his mother, he kept his distance from Liam and Cheyenne. No one questioned the distance. It seemed only appropriate. They had been friends all her life, but she was a married woman now, that changed things, everyone knew it. Cheyenne fought and won to have Jax be Liam's godfather, but things were different. A distance that only continued to grow when Tara returned to town and she and Jax rekindled their relationship. Cheyenne tried to focus on how happy Jax seemed with Tara. Tried to convince the overwhelming guilt inside her that it was ok that he couldn't be a father to his son, because maybe he's just have one with her.

To make matter worse, the longer Edmond lived in Charming the more he hated living in the states. He hated the weather, the culture, the people. He missed home desperately. Ireland longed in his heart, but that wasn't the deal Samcro and the IRA made. Edmond had to stay. He kept the deal stateside, and the weight of that tall order slowly began to eat away at him. Slowly began to turn a caring husband into a man who resented the ties that bound him. Running guns up and down the west coast kept Edmond away often, but rarely where he really wanted to be. Rarely back home in the Ireland.

Like a true Irishman, he found solace at the bottle of a bottom. Drowning all his pain and life's regrets in whiskey. Cheyenne hated seeing Edmond's pain. Hated watching him transform into a man she didn't recognize. It broke her heart, but try as she might she couldn't fix him, because the things inside him that were broken couldn't be fixed by love alone. And slowly over the course of a year and a half Edmond grew more bitter, more depressed, and Cheyenne slowly found herself resenting him for all his shortcomings and the way he blamed her.

Her dreams of a happy little life slowly transformed into something harder to bare, harder to swallow as she watched Edmond spiral deeper into his depression and drinking. And she found herself slowly trying less and less. Watching him continuously surrender to his sorrows and lose himself to the grip of it in a whiskey bottle, Cheyenne found herself resenting him more and more.

She watched as the love they had first found transformed into obligation and duty. And there was no one for her to turn to about his problems in the club. Everyone drank, most of them more than they should. And Cheyenne understood, you don't air your old man's dirty laundry for the club to see. He was her old man, supposed to be her rock, and she was supposed to be his hidden strength and stand by his side.

All that festering heartache finally came to a head on an early winter evening. It was cool outside, but not rainy the way Edmond missed as he sulked in the lounge chair in their Livingroom. Longing for Ireland, drinking his sorrows away before he geared up for another gun run. But tonight Cheyenne had enough. The baby hasn't been sleeping well, she was exhausted from being on her feet at the diner all day, and the thought of having to listen to Edmond's drunken rambles about home was more then she could take tonight.

Snatching the half empty bottle from his hands, Cheyenne was on her way to the kitchen sink to pore it out when Edmond grabs her arm and jerks her back around.

"I wasn't done with that." He demands through clenched teeth, trying to grab it back as Cheyenne fights to hold it just out of reach.

"You've had enough," She fires back, her eyes drilling into his as she holds her ground.

"I'll tell you when I've had enough. And if being stuck in this shithole means I have a drink every once in a while that's my choice to make." He rambles back, his thick Irish accent coming on strong as the whiskey slurs his words.

"Well maybe if you stopped sulking in your own pity for yourself all the time this place might actually grow on you." She throws back at him. Heat on her breath, anger burning in her eyes as she stares him down.

It happened so fast Cheyenne didn't even realize what had happened until she's on the kitchen floor. Heart pounding, lip throbbing as her big eyes lift up to where Edmond stands over her. He had hit her. The thought swirls in her brain as she reaches for her burning lip. Her gaze drifts to her hand as she pulls it back from her mouth to her lap, blood smeared on her fingertips. The taste of metallic in her mouth. The thought pounds in her brain. He hit me. He actually hit me. No one has ever hit me. No one gets to hit me.

A fire rumbles up from her gut as her eyes shoot back up to Edmond and Cheyenne quickly rises to her feet. With a huffing chest and pounding heart, Cheyenne balls her fists and charges at him. Screaming at him, fists swinging, Cheyenne makes contact with his body, but Edmond takes the upper hand. Swinging them around, he slams Cheyenne against the Livingroom wall. Pinning her by her neck against it. He doesn't choke her, but she can't move either as Cheyenne's desperate and alarmed eyes barrel into Edmond's as he stands across from her.

Fear she's never known pounds in her heart as she stares at the man she loves. A man who's supposed to love her, protect her, her husband. A man that despite all their problems, she trusted five minutes ago. An uneven breath rattles past her lips as she watches a startled look fill Edmond's eyes and horror wash over his face. Releasing his hold on her, Edmond retrieves the bottle off the floor, disregarding its spilled contents, and stumbles down the hall to their bedroom without a word.

Left shaken and in disbelief, Cheyenne lingers against the wall for a moment, trying to gather herself before she quickly bolts. Racing to her sleep baby in his swing, she scoops Liam into her arms and into his car seat in seconds.

She doesn't hesitate before charging out the front door and racing to her car. She's out of her driveway as fast as she can, but she only makes it three doors down before she pulls the car to the curb. Where is she going to go? Where can she go? She can't go to her dad's; she doesn't know what he'll do if he finds out. He's notorious for making horrible choices when blinded by rage. Gemma's? She's not sure she could bare it if Clay tells her everything is going to be alright before sending her back home.

Glancing up, Cheyenne realizes she's already found the only place she can go- Jax's. Eying his rundown house, she's not sure she can bring herself to go to his door. She's not sure their allowed to do that anymore. She eyes her sleeping baby in the backseat through the rearview mirror as the last few minutes relive in her mind. He couldn't have meant it, she tells herself. He must be as torn up as she is. How did this happen to her? How did this happen to them? Her heart rips open with the memory of it as the first round of tears roll down her face.

Resting her forehead against the cool steering wheel, Cheyenne sobs into her hand, feeling completely lost and alone. Until a quiet knock on the window startles the shit out of her and sends Cheyenne shooting up in her seat. Her eyes dart to the window where she finds Jax standing outside her door, concern blinding in his sensitive blue eyes as he looks her over.

"Everything alright, Chey?" He asks as she wipes the tears from her face.

Cheyenne manages to shake her head no as she numbly stares at him. Nodding with understanding, Jax takes charge, opening the driver's door and extending a hand out to her.

"Let's get you both inside." He says, never taking his eyes off her.

Inside the safety of Jax's house, Cheyenne's eyes scan around the room. "Tara?" She asks, on edge.

"At the hospital." Jax reassures as he lowers Liam's car seat to his linoleum kitchen floor. He can't take his eyes off her. Not sure he's ever seen her this spooked and keenly aware of the cut on her lip, Jax feels a fire igniting in his gut.

"How'd you get that Cheyenne? …And don't say you walked into a wall." He asks her pointblank.

Tuning back to him, Cheyenne stares numb and silent at Jax. Still shaken up, the answer repays in her mind, but she can't will her mouth to say it. She doesn't want to hear the words come out of her mouth. She can't bring herself to say her husband did this to her, could do this to her.

Taking a slow step toward her, Jax gently takes hold of her jaw, turning her face from side to side so he can get a better look.

"Edmond do this?" He slowly questions her again as she stands mute in front of him, like putty in his hands.

Jax is inspecting her split lower lip when he notices the redness around her neck. She's not going to say it, Jax can see that as she stares at him with eyes full of fear, gently trembling in his hand, but the truth is in her eyes.

"Son of a bitch," Jax snarls as he releases his hold on her and charges for the front door.

Shooting to life, Cheyenne races around him, blocking the front door before he can reach it.

"No, no, no-" She pleads with him on an emphatic desperate breath. "He didn't mean to. He's drunk and we were arguing."

The determination and blinding anger in Jax's eyes is unwaivered as he goes to move her out of the way, but Cheyenne takes ahold of him. Gripping his kutte, she forces him to look at her as her back blocks the front door.

"He's never done this before. It won't happen again. He was just drunk. Think about the club, Jax." Cheyenne insists and as the words tumble past her lips she realizes they're her rationale too, they're her excuse to make this bearable.

Jax stops trying to move her with her final statement- the club. His eyes are deathly focused and twisted up inside as he holds her gaze, finally hearing her out.

"The club needs this deal and he's part of the IRA, Jax. You can't touch him without it blowing back on the club."

She can see his vengeance waiving against a logic he knows is true. They both know if Jax attacks Edmond over this there will be hell to pay. Doesn't matter what Edmond did. The club, and especially the IRA council would see it as a family dispute that should have stayed that way. There's nothing he can do without making it worse. It was her choice to marry Edmond, her choice to agree to this arrangement, she knows in the eyes of those in power this is her bed to lie in. They would have no support.

"He'll never do it again. I know he won't. You should have seen his face. He was as scared as I was by what had happened." Cheyenne pleads, begging herself as much as Jax, because she needs to believe this. Has to believe it was mistake that will never happen again. The startled look on Edmond's face as he held her against the wall plays over and over in her mind. She has to hold onto it. Has to hold onto the fact that he didn't mean to. She had antagonized him. He just lost control for a moment.

Reluctantly relenting, Jax pulled back from Cheyenne and the door. A sour sneer on his face as he returned to the kitchen. He didn't like this. It left an awful taste in his mouth and on his heart, but she was right about the club, the IRA council. As much as he wants her to be wrong, he knows she isn't. Running a heavy hand down his face, Jax spots his infant son sleeping in his car seat. He had almost forgotten Cheyenne brought him in all the chaos. There's a slight solace seeing his baby boy sound asleep, unaffected by what's happened.

Letting out a heavy breath as an all too familiar ache pulls at his heart, Jax turns to Cheyenne as she joins him in the kitchen.

"Can I hold him?" He asks, because Jax has tried to keep his distance. Tried to play by the rules, but the weight of that, at times, has felt like more than he could bare. Watching his son around the clubhouse, his mom's place, close, but always just beyond his reach.

A sad smile lifts on Cheyenne's face to the longing and sorrow she sees in Jax's eyes as she silently nods. Knowing she's the cause that pain rips all her old wounds wide open. Because despite time and distance Jax was once her best friend and she'd never want to hurt him like this.

Careful and a little nervous, Jax scoops his tiny infant son into his arms, pulling him against his chest. The baby begins to fuss a little with the shift, but Jax is quick to sooth him, a natural father.

"Hey, hey, it's ok buddy." Jax coos as he nestles Liam close to his chest, gently rocking him, before the baby nestles in close and drifts back to sleep.

Resting his forehead against his son's, Jax places a soft kiss on his face as he snuggles him close.

"I love you, son." Jax admits on a hushed whisper, having his first real moment with his son. A moment he's deeply longed to have ever since he learned Liam was his.

A lump strangles Cheyenne's throat, emotion rattles her chest as she watches from the sideline as father and son get to share a truly honest moment she feels like she's robbed them of for so long. A part of her wishes this is how things could really be. A part she's afraid to acknowledge. Because it's too painful to even wish for.

"He looks so much like you." She notes as a tear she can't hold back slips down her cheek before she quickly wipes it away. She never wanted this. Struggles every day to live with it. Knowing everyday she's robbing them both and lying to Edmond.

Jax's eyes drift her way as he continues to snuggle Liam and rock him gently.

"That a good thing?" He questions with uncertianty.

Cheyenne bites down hard on her lower lip to stop the tears from coming. Silently she nods her head.

"But it's a scary one too." She admits on a heavy burdened breath.

Nodding in agreement, Jax stares at Cheyenne for a long tender moment. "You have to tell me if he ever puts a hand on you again." Jax insists, because it's the only way he can live with this. If he swears to himself he'll never let it happened again.

Cheyenne's gaze drops form his as she silently nods, because even now she knows that's a lie. She prays it'll never happened again. But she knows if it does, she can't tell Jax. He's already too deep in this. Any further and they'll both drown.

As Jax opens his arm to her, Cheyenne easily welcomes the invite. Snuggling against his side, against their baby's as Jax wraps her in his arms. Cheyenne had no idea how badly she needed this kind of comfort until that moment and as Jax's lips find her forehead in a gentle embrace, she knows she'll make it through this.

* * *

 **Authors Note:**

Cheyenne is very naive and trusting when this story starts. Still young, she doesn't even fully understand the obligations or commitment she's making. A lifetime is a hard time frame to grasp at 23. But very rapidly in this chapter and in chapters to come, life gets real. She still has hope at the end of this chapter things can work out. But Cheyenne's character will go through a big transformation from chapter 1 to the end. At this point I'm projecting about 5 chapters. This won't be a very long story. But rest assured, nothing will be glossed over.

Jax will also go through a big transformation during this story. I picture him season 1 when this story starts. He's very entrenched in the club, in the life. He worries about the road Cheyenne is going down, worries whether she fully knows what she's getting into, but he never feared for her safety. Like Cheyenne, Jax trusted the club would protect her. And throughout the course of this story he will learn the bigger picture matters more than individual sacrifices. Especially on a club level and where Clay is concerned. And that realization will shape and change him.

For those wondering, I have not given up on my other story and will still be posting.


	2. Chapter 2

**Note: This chapter contains explicit content.**

 **Part 2: A Burning House**

" _I had a dream about a burning house._

 _You were stuck inside; I couldn't get you out._

 _I laid beside you and pulled you close._

 _And the two of us went up in smoke."_

Two years later, the clubhouse is packed for another Friday night party. People fill it wall to wall and spill out into the lot. Jax could have any girl he wanted here, but he can't take his eyes off Cheyenne. Seated at the bar, slipping her third whiskey of the night beside her husband. It's painful to see her like this. To watch her slowly disappear before his eyes. At first she just pulled away from their friendship. Then she created a wall around herself and everyone else she knew. Jax never knew if it was her doing or Edmond's, but the distance was painfully real. And now he sees her losing herself too.

Edmond still hurts her. It's that dirty little secret that no one seems to notice, or if they do, they don't talk about it, because no one asks, and Cheyenne isn't telling. She pulled away from him first so he wouldn't find out, but Jax saw the signs no one else seemed to notice. That Cheyenne got sick and laid up at the house way too often. Other times she'd layer on the make-up, far more than he's ever known her to wear.

He wants to beat the shit out of Edmond every time he sees the signs, but he isn't sure if Cheyenne will deny it and then he'd be the one left with his dick in hand, looking like an asshole to his club. One time, she showed up at the clubhouse with a shiner. Tig about had a shit fit over it, but she had a good story for that one too. Somehow her daddy's girl charm talked the murderous rage out of his eyes. Jax still doesn't know exactly what it is she told him, but it did the job. Jax had hoped after the black eye something would finally happen, someone would start asking questions, but no one did.

Tig seemed oblivious to why his daughter pulled away from him, put walls between her and everyone. Jax was never particularly close with Clay's right hand man, but he felt bad for the guy. Jax could see from the pain in Tig's eyes, it killed him his daughter was so distant. Jax tried going to Clay after Cheyenne's black eye, talk about it on a club level, but that got shot down. Clay cited lack of proof, and that he had no intentions of digging around in another man's marriage.

Truth was- Jax knew Clay didn't want anything jeopardizing his little deal with the IRA and that's why he didn't do anything. Jax lost respect for his president and stepdad that day. A respect and trust he's never gotten back. He used to wonder why Cheyenne didn't ask for help herself, push the issue, but eventually he began to see she felt too responsible for the club's success and too trapped to say anything.

Instead he had to watch as she suffered in silence, because she shut him out where Edmond was concerned long ago. Now he just got to watch from the sidelines as his old friend disappeared before his eyes. It all wore her down, Edmond's drinking, the cheating, the continued interrogations from FBI, DEA, ect, because while Edmond wasn't directly tied to the IRA on paper, his father was wanted on four continents. Month by month Jax watched the girl loved so much disappear a little more, watched the light in her eyes dim a little more. The past two years had been shit for him too. He called it off with Tara for good a few months back. Right after Liam turned two. Tara had started talking about a future, having kids at some point, and Jax knew he had to end it.

He couldn't think about having another family when his kid was living three houses down, being raised by a man Jax hated. He couldn't just move on and pretend like everything was normal and great, because nothing was as far as Jax was concerned. He finally realized the choices he made back then had ruined him. He hadn't known it when Liam was first born, but all these years later, it's undeniable now. Pretending like that boy isn't his, watching Cheyenne suffer in silence, the choices he made back then destroyed any chance he ever had of having a decent life. Now he's destined for endless guilt and regret.

And even worse than all that, Jax finally realized he loves Cheyenne, really loves her and probably always has. When they were younger he couldn't see it. That night before the wedding it had finally broken to the surface, but even then he wasn't ready to really see it for what it is. It's taken losing her, watching everything he loves about her slowly die away to realizes how madly he loves that woman. Seated across the clubhouse from her now, watching as she slowly drinks away her heart and soul while her husband sits next to her, eye fucking some Cara Cara girl across the room for the past hour. Jax feels like he could jump out of his skin. And as he slowly rises to his feet, having seen enough, he finally does.

Going to Cheyenne at the bar, Jax announces himself as he places a gentle hand upon her shoulder. Her face turns to him and as their eyes meet, Jax reaches for the drink in her hand to place it back down on the bar.

"Let's get you home." Jax says, gentle concern lingering on his breath.

Cheyenne's gaze drifts to Edmond beside her, who doesn't even notice his wife he's so wrapped up in the porn star he's locked eyes with from across the room.

"Let's get you home to your kid." Jax rephrases and this time he breaks through the whiskey haze and grip Edmond has upon her psyche. Turning back to Jax, Cheyenne offers him a subtle genuine smile and an easy nod.

Jax takes ahold of her elbow as she rises off the barstool and sways a little to find her feet. Moving in front of Edmond, Jax forces him to break the eye-fucking session he's been having with that porn star and meet Jax's gaze dead on.

"Think it's time you took your wife home." Jax states bluntly to a man he has no respect for.

Edmond turns to Cheyenne as an unamused smile finds his face with Jax's ballsy interruption.

"You can drive yourself, right baby?" He insists more than asks as he places the keys in Cheyenne's hand.

Jax watches as a silent battle passes between their eyes and he realizes Cheyenne has more fight left her in than he gave her credit for.

"Yeah," She flippantly responses, before closing her hand around the keys, and pushes past Edmond.

"You're not going to make sure your old lady makes it home safe?" Jax defiantly challenges him. The liquor running through his veins giving him balls of steel and a smart mouth.

A look crosses over Edmond's eyes, one that Jax wonders if Cheyenne has been on the receiving end of just before she gets her ass handed to. Locked in a pissing match with Jax, Edmond slowly rises to his feet to meet the challenge. But before things can get out of hand, Cheyenne pushes her way between them. Her powerful eyes meeting Jax's, demanding his attention.

"You can give me a ride, right Jax?" She all but insists, trying to diffuse the situation.

Jax wants Edmond to make a move. He wants this asshole to give him a reason to slam his face into the bar, but he can see Cheyenne's eyes begging him for attention out of his periphery and he can't deny her. Relenting, he meets her gaze, seeing the desperation, the determination in her eyes, Jax caves to her.

"Yeah Darlin', I'll get you home."

With a shake of his head, Jax can't believe how disrespectful this guy is to his wife as he looks back up at Edmond.

"Don't worry man, I'll make sure she gets home safe." Shoving Edmond's lack of regard for his wife back in his face before going for the door with Cheyenne.

When they get back to her house, Jax is surprised to find it was his mom who had been watching Liam tonight. Gemma had kept the secret better than most, gatekeeper to all the club's deadliest secrets, but Jax knows it eats his mother up not getting to tell everyone Liam is her grandson, knows she finds her own ways to keep the boy close.

"Thanks Gem," Cheyenne says, greeting her with a warm grateful hug.

"Anytime baby, he's a good boy. Takes after his dad." Gemma answers back, leaving Cheyenne to go see her little boy as Gemma greets Jax with a kiss on the cheek.

"Look out for her." Gemma whispered as she pulled back from her son. Not blind to Cheyenne's pain. Jax isn't sure if his mom knows how fucked up Cheyenne and Edmond's marriage really is, but he gets a feeling if anyone put it together, it'd be his mom.

"That's what I'm doing here." Jax gives his word as his mom gathered her things.

After showing his mom out, Jax wanders down the hall in search of Cheyenne. He finds her in Liam's room, stroking the hair off his peaceful face before planting a gentle kiss on his forehead. With every fiber in his being Jax wants to scoop that little boy up in his arm and carry him and Cheyenne out of this house, never look back, but he knows Cheyenne would never let him do that. She's too damn stubborn for her own good.

He's come to realize she'd go down with the ship in the name of loyalty. And as much Jax hates watching her suffer and wilt away, she's blossomed as a mother. She's amazing with their son. Only time he ever sees her smile anymore. And as much as it eats at Jax watching his son grow up from a distance, as much as it kills him he can't love Liam the way he wants to, he's happy he was the one who gave her that gift.

Cheyenne slips past Jax in the hall without a word, but still he follows her into the kitchen as she pours herself a glass of water and takes a big sip without ever acknowledging him. Lowering the glass from her lips and placing it on the counter, Cheyenne finally turns to Jax.

"Thanks for the ride, Jax." She says in a way that make them seem more like strangers than old friends.

Not discouraged, Jax tries to find the girl he's always known, the one he loves so much, still inside her.

"Liam's getting so big. He's a good kid, Cheyenne. You're doing a great job with him." He says, missing the girl he's known most of his life. Missing her like oxygen to breathe, Jax has to fight the urge to not force her out of her here. Take her and Liam as far as he can get them. Leave it all behind, but Jax is no fool. He knows they wouldn't get far before somebody tracked them down. So he fights the urge, because betraying everyone he loves, the only life he's ever known, means nothing if he can't save them.

Jax watches as the clouds in her eyes part, and that beautiful breathtaking smile of hers lights up her face and the room.

"Wish I could take credit for it, but it's all him. Little man came in perfect. Just born that way." She beams, getting lost in the thought of the only thing in her life that brings her happiness anymore. The reason she breathes and keeps going when all she wants to do is give up. She fights to make things good for him, fights to give him everything she can.

"You don't give yourself enough credit. You're a great mom, Cheyenne." Jax continues, smiling back at her. Trying to hold onto the girl he knows and loves. The girl he knows is still in there. And seeing this side of her again, all Jax wants to do is hold on, not let her slip back into her shell again.

Cheyenne's beautiful gold mane sways as she lightly shakes her head. An easy smile holding on her face.

"Don't know about all that, but thanks Jax." She says, and for a moment she's the old Cheyenne again, before life and disappointments began to steal that away.

A brief moment of happiness that disappears all too fast as Jax watches sadness find her eyes again as her gaze sweeps over her empty house.

"I should walk you out." She says on a heavy resigned breath. Settling back into her cage.

Seeing her pain return guts Jax, he couldn't bare it anymore. All he wants to do is save her and Liam from this shit. Show her how important she is. How much he fucking loves her and finally alone with her for the first time in ages, Jax acts on the impulsive desires of his heart and does something stupid

As she takes a step toward the front door his hands wrap around her face and his lips fall down to her own in the sweetest of embraces. Jax kisses her tenderly, trying to show her how special she is; how special she should be treated. But as soon as it starts, it's over as Cheyenne pushes him back and breaks their kiss.

"What are you doing?" She asks him pointedly, alarm blinding in her blue eyes as they pin him.

Standing alone in her darkened kitchen, Jax doesn't release her face as his thumb sweeps softly over her cheek and his eyes hold steady with her own.

"I can't stop thinking about you. I can't get you outta my head. I'm crazy about you Cheyenne." Jax confesses on a heavy breath. Getting lost in her before his lips fall back to her own, trying to show her what his words said are true.

Jax can feel Cheyenne is being ripped in two as she kisses him back, but pushing him away all at the same time. Breaking their kiss, but hovering just breath over her, Jax refuses to pull back completely as their eyes lock onto one another.

"You're gonna get us killed." Her panicked breath whispers out as she clutches onto him. Telling Jax without words, she wants this, she's just afraid, because she knows it's wrong. Because she knows what would happen if anyone found out.

Jax knows it's wrong too, he just doesn't care anymore. Everything is wrong these days and he's sick of watching her pay the ultimate price for that. He's sick of watching the girl he loves slip away under the weight of that. If she were happily married he'd never touch her, no matter what he felt, but her misery drives him to break the silence

"You deserve to be happy, Cheyenne." Jax pleads with her before he seals the words with a kiss.

"You deserve to be loved." He whispers out against the heat of her mouth, his eyes barreling into her desperate pair.

Begging her to believe him. Jax watches Cheyenne battle with everything she's feeling inside, battle what they both want against what she knows is wrong. He watches her make up her mind with a shift in her eyes. Watches her surrender, facing her own doom, before she closes her eyes and leans into his waiting kiss.

They both know they're free falling off the face of a cliff into the unknown, but as they stumble toward the hall, locked in a frenzied kiss, feeling alive for the first time in years, they don't give a damn.

"Not the bedroom," Cheyenne manages out between kisses as she loses herself in Jax and the way she feels about him for the first time since the night they made Liam.

Jax gets it, understands what she's saying, as ugly as it is. She doesn't want them in the bed she shares with her husband. That little statement makes this painfully ugly in a way Jax forces himself to ignore as he leads her over to the couch, her body and mouth tangled with his.

Their kiss breaks as Jax lowers to the cushions, guiding her onto his lap, her legs straddled across him. Jax can see the fear in her eyes as they meet face to face once again. It's a fear he tries to kiss away as his mouth finds hers once again.

Cheyenne feels overwhelmingly guilty as Jax slips her shirt off her body. Guilty for cheating on her husband. Guilty for wanting this. She wishes she could blame it on the liquor they've both been drinking tonight, but she knows that's not what this is really about.

Jax's hand runs along her body as the other gently strokes her cheek. "God you're beautiful," He says breathlessly as his eyes ravage her body before returning to her gaze.

The dark hunger in his eyes sends a shiver down Cheyenne's spine and has her reaching for Jax's shirt next.

They're reduced to skin on skin in a frenzied heartbeat, before either can think it through. Their hips rocking together in a perfect rhythm of ebb and flow, guided by the grip Jax has upon her bare hip. Their mouths are locked in a deep wet kiss.

Cheyenne's mind is delirious with sensations she's been starved of for so long. Her breath is panting and deep as they break for air. She's edging toward a release that feels so intense she wonders if it'll consume her completely. Grinding faster against Jax, she chases that intoxicatingly sweet release she hasn't felt in so long.

Jax's hand slips between their slick bodies to find that spot he knows will take her over the edge just so he can watch her fall off of it. She's the most beautiful woman he's ever had the pleasure of having. She's the love of his goddamn life. And the feel of her wrapped around him so tightly has Jax hanging on only to please her, to take her higher than she's ever been. To hear her keep saying his name in that breathy desperate way that does things to him no one has ever been able to do.

As the pad of his thumb finds her sweet spot, Cheyenne's head falls back and Jax's name frantically begs from her lips. But a sad whimper comes next as Jax quickly pulls his hand back as if teasing her. A pleading pout threatens to form on her lips before she feels his hand gently cup her cheek and draw her back to him until they're face to face again. Cheyenne swallows hard against the lump that forms in her throat to the look in Jax's eyes. The darkness, the hunger, it reaches deep inside her, holds her captive.

"I want you right here." Jax instructs on a ragged husky breath as his other hand continues to grip her hip, guiding their bodies together in an intoxicating rhythm.

A drunken devilish grin finds his face as his hand leaves her cheek and slips back down between them.

"I wanna watch you come." Jax practically demands on a heated haphazard breath as the pad of his thumb finds her once again. He's desperately missed the beauty, the fever he found with her all those years ago. Finally his again, he doesn't want to miss a thing.

Lost in the depth of his eyes that only see her as her body rapidly comes to the edge of the abyss, her muscles tensing, her breath ragged, Cheyenne realizes she's never felt so close to anyone. She realizes she loves him. And denying it, telling herself she didn't, never changed that.

As their bodies come together in tandem to the touch of Jax's hand, Cheyenne crashes over the edge. A burning ecstasy races through every fiber of her body as her voice desperately cries out his name, and her fingernails dig into the nap of his neck, clinging to him. Cheyenne feels Jax's forehead fall against her own as she comes in waves, grinding erratically against him to ride the ecstasy out. She feels Jax's grip tighten around her hip as he pushes her harder down against him, his desperate breath fills her ears.

"Fuck Cheyenne," she hears him grunt out desperately, giving into his own release while she's lost in her own delirium.

Cheyenne collapses against Jax as the pleasure wanes. Exhausted and completely spent, her rests her forehead against his as she feels his arms wrap around her, holding their hot slick bodies close. Cheyenne is still coming back down when she feels Jax dig his fingers in her hair, cradling her head as he leans in to gently kiss her lips.

"I love you," Cheyenne hears him whisper.

Startled, she pulls back. Her eyes finding his as a fear settles in her heart, because she knows they've just sealed their fates, like the kiss of death.

* * *

Days later Cheyenne wakes up alone, the sheets feel chilly around her as her hand reaches out to his side of the bed. Her eyes open in the dark to an empty spot on Edmond's side of the bed. It's not a big surprise. She's lost count of the nights he never made it to bed. The nights he'd rather be alone or with someone else than with her. But tonight she finds herself feeling his absence.

Guilt is a funny thing like that, she's still suffocating under the weight of her betrayal. They don't love each other. That isn't what holds their marriage intact, but Cheyenne never thought she'd be the kind of woman who could cheat. She never wanted to be that kind of wife. Even with a lack of love, that kind of betrayal feels sick in her stomach. She carries it around like poison in her belly every day.

Climbing free of her bed, she goes in search of him. To check on him. As if by showing concern and being a good wife, it will wash away the crime she committed. And even though Cheyenne knows it doesn't work that way, she's found herself being kinder with Edmond lately, giving him more slack. Her guilt makes her heart softer to him in a way it hasn't in years. Makes her see his struggles, with a life he feels stuck in, missing his home. It has her justifying his faults and actions in a way she hasn't done in a long time.

Cheyenne finds Edmond sitting alone in the Livingroom, illuminated only by the light of the television. As she gets closer to the armchair he's resting in, she spots the old familiar bottle positioned on the end-table next to his chair. A heavy sigh leaves her chest with the sight of it. Almost gone, the bottle lets her know how drunk he must be. She approaches the side of him, making sure he turns to see her before she ever makes a move. Reaching for the remote control, Cheyenne turns off the television as she speaks up.

"Come on, let's get you to bed." She gently instructs.

When he doesn't protest, Cheyenne reaches for his arm. Guiding him slowly off the chair and onto his feet. He reeks of whiskey and his eyes look big and glassy as they stare at her in the dark. The look in his eyes keeps her on edge as she takes a step to lead them back to bed, but she doesn't make it far before she feels him snatch her arm, grip it tight. Her eyes shoot back to his as her heart picks up its pace. She had known this could turn bad. He's drunk, that always means he's unpredictable and quick to rage.

As their eyes meet in the dark, a chill runs down her spine to the cold depths that stare back her.

"It's your fault." He says, to her through clenched teeth. His hand tightening its grip upon her arm.

Ripping her arm away from him, Cheyenne takes a slow step back, but he follows her. She never takes her eyes off him as he reaches for her again, but Cheyenne shoves him back, which only pisses him off worse. She can see the switch in his eyes, his fuse ignite, she knows it so well, just before Edmond charges her. She only has time to throw her arms up in defense before he takes hold of her, slamming her into the wall, pinning her to it

Roughly he grabs her jaw, forcing her face to meet his. The hatred she sees in his eyes mirrors the grip he has upon her. Cheyenne's grabs him back hard as they hold in a standoff, eyes locked.

"You ruined my life." He hisses in her face on a deathly hot breath.

"Mommy?" Cheyenne hears Liam call from the next room. Most likely awakened from the crash.

"I'll right there, baby." She manages to call back with Edmond's hand gripping her face. Cheyenne tries to keep her voice as calm and soothing as she can as her arm and jaw throb from the grip Edmond has upon her.

Her eyes soften as she stares back at Edmond. "Don't do this, Edmond. Not tonight." She pleads with him.

The sound of tiny feet padding against the carpet fill the house before Liam appears in his doorway, teddy bear in hand. "Mommy? …Daddy?" He questions, half asleep, wiping at his eyes.

Edmond's face whips to the hall with the sound of his son's sleepy voice. Cheyenne's heart shatters in her chest knowing Liam is seeing this even if he doesn't understand. She struggles against Edmond's grip, trying to break free as he turns back to her. Her eyes try to plead with him without words. Beg him, to let her go, because for as terrible as Edmond is to her, he really loves their son. Tries to be a good father and because of that they have an unspoken rule, not around Liam. What happens between them, stays between them.

Edmond's eyes drill into hers a moment longer, his anger blinding before he suddenly lets her go and takes a step back.

Not wasting her chance, Cheyenne pushes off from the wall and moves to Liam. Scooping her little boy into her arms, she pulls him close. Tears slipping from her eyes as she carries him back into his room. Feeling like the worst mom in the world, because she failed him.

* * *

After what happened Cheyenne knew she couldn't see or speak with Jax. She avoided the clubhouse, ignored his calls, and stayed away from anywhere she might run into him. She was hiding out, plain and simple. Running scared really. Sacred of what she found with Jax that night. Scared of the feelings she has for him and how they've now been reawakened, stronger than ever. Scared of the way he makes her want and wish for more. And most of all she's scared someone will find out. She's terrified of that.

Edmond's been so on edge lately, securing shipments all over the west coast, pushing more guns. She fears what he'd do if he found out. And despite all of it, she's trying to give him more leniency, because she feels unbelievably guilty for what she's done. Even after all the hell they've been through, continue to go through. Even though she knows Edmond doesn't love her and she doesn't love him. He is still her husband and she still cheated on him and with the man she really loves no less. That's a crime that feels unforgivable to her. That cocktail of poison twisting up inside her is what has Cheyenne avoiding Jax like the plague. But being as unbelievably stubborn and driven as he is, Jax finds her anyway.

Cheyenne had been halfway through her shift at the dinner when he came through the double doors, moving right for her. Paranoid someone will put the pieces together and weighed down by a heavy heart, having Jax track her down, especially at her job, is more than Cheyenne thinks she could handle.

The sight of him alone spurs to life a fluttering in her belly, but she turns that into anger. Her only real weapon against this.

"What are you doing here?" Cheyenne asks him pointedly with a secure hand on her hip after dropping off a round of hot plates to one of her tables. Trying her best to fake annoyance, instead of revealing the racing of her heart to having him near again.

"We need to talk." Jax says, nerves of steel, he doesn't even flinch to the cold welcome she just threw his way.

"Well I'm at work right now, so it's not exactly a good time." She throws back dismissively before turning from him and making her way back to the main kitchen. Praying she dodged a bullet and he'll just go even though the sinking feeling in her heart warns her it isn't going to be that easy.

Jax catches her by the arm before she can get away. Forcing Cheyenne to turn back and face him, because he isn't taking no for an answer this time.

"I'm not leaving until we talk. So if that means I park myself in a booth until your shift is over, fine, but I'm not going anywhere darlin'." Jax makes his intentions perfectly clear as the determination, the passion in his eyes tells Cheyenne he isn't budging.

Scanning the diner, Cheyenne notices the attention she is slowly starting to gather and her heart begins to race with the implication she's beginning to make a scene. Shaking loose of his grip, Cheyenne lets out a heavy sigh to the inevitable and gives in.

"Fine, let go to the locker-room." She says, despite the fact that she isn't entirely sure she is strong enough to continue to pretend like she doesn't care. Not alone with him, not with him looking her at the way he does.

"I'm taking five." Cheyenne explains as she moves to the back of the dinner, confident Jax will follow. Passing Jimmy who's slaving over a hot grill along the way while her sweaty boss sits slumped in his office.

Giving the locker-room a quick once over to ensure they are alone, Cheyenne takes a deep breath to strengthen herself, to calm the nerves tight in her belly, and finally turns back to face Jax. Stiffly folding her arms to her chest, she makes the fear inside her look like anger.

"What do you want, Jax?" She says flatly, her face expressionless to avoid the truth leaking free, her emotions contained.

A heated huff lifts off Jax's chest as he runs frustrated hands down his face with her show of indifference.

"I want to talk about us, Cheyenne. You won't take my calls, you're nowhere to be found-" Jax starts before she swiftly cuts him off.

"There's nothing to talk about. I'm married, Jax. It was a mistake that never should have happened." She grits out through a tight jaw, her heart erratic with fear.

This is exactly what she didn't want to hear. Didn't want to explain to him the obvious. She didn't want him to try and unravel it, make her admit this situation for what it really is, because as long as she stays inside her box of self-denial and containment this indiscretion won't implode her world.

"That's bullshit and you know it. What we have between us is real. You felt it that night, I know you did." Jax comes at her strong and insistent.

He sees right through her shit and he isn't buying it. He knows she's scared, confused. Hell, he's fucking confused, but he knows what they have is real. He knows he loves her and he knows he saw it in her eyes that night for him too.

Watching Cheyenne take a step back from him, her eyes diverting from his as she slowly shakes her head, Jax knows she's trying to convince herself what he says isn't true, but they both know that's a lie. Taking ahold of her arm, Jax gently guides her back to him, until she finally meets his eyes once again.

"Do you love me?" He asks, laying it all out on the line. No more bullshit, no more beating around the bush.

Jax watches as the look in Cheyenne's eyes shifts from fierce to fear. He watches as her guard begins to drop and the girl he rediscovered that night finds her way to the surface.

"It's an easy question, babe." He pushes her to say it, admit it to herself. She loves him, he knows it.

Vulnerability fills her tender eyes as she stares at him for a long moment. "No, it's not, because there's only one love that matters in my life and that's the love I have for my son. He is everything to me, all that I have. I would never do anything to jeopardize that. I'm not leaving my husband, Jax. So you can just let that go." Cheyenne finally opens up.

Finally reveals the heart inside her chest that is being ripped in two. Because he's right, she does love him. Always has. As terrifying and thrilling as that is, it's true. Standing before him in this moment she feels it palpitating in her chest, but she also knows it doesn't matter. She can't choose him. She can't leave Edmond. He'd try to take Liam. He'd make it ugly. Especially if she left him for Jax. She would never risk her child. Not for anyone.

Seeing tears brim her scared eyes as she speaks of their son, seeing the selfless, unconditional way she loves him, makes Jax love her all that much more. He's fucked up a lot over the years, but making her the mother of his child, even under these impossible circumstances was the best mistake he ever made.

Reaching out for her, Jax gently cups her cheek as a tender smile finds his face and touches his eyes.

"Then don't," he whispers to her the only answer left just before his face drops down to hers to comfort her with a gentle kiss.

Because after their night together, after losing her a second time, Jax realized something. He has to have her and Liam in his life. He can't keep living pushed out to the edge of their world. Watching them from the sidelines like they aren't his family. He needs them, to be a part of their lives, to protect them, anyway he can. And if that's what this looks like, as wrong and ugly as it is, then so be it.

The taste of his lips feels like Cheyenne's undoing. It reignites everything she's been fighting to hold back. It feels like heaven and the kiss of death all at once. Pushing Jax back to break the kiss, Cheyenne finds his gaze with a pounding in her heart.

"What are you saying, Jax?" She questions him. Her mind barely able to wrap around the implication of what he's implying.

Her alarmed blue eyes pierce him and hold him accountable as his thumb softly strokes her cheek.

"I need you and Liam in my life… however I can have you. You guys are my family. I love you. And I know you love me too." Jax tells her, not an ounce of doubt on his breath. He knows what he's saying is madness, but if that's the only game in town, then he'll play it. Because he'd rather have this then not have her and Liam at all.

Cheyenne searches his eyes as he tenderly holds her face. Her heart pounding so hard with hope and fear she wonders if he can feel it pounding through her skin. What he's suggesting is suicide if anyone ever found out and it's also the only real chance at happiness she has. Only chance she has to love him the way her heart deeply calls to.

"I'm scared, Jax." Cheyenne admits on a heavy rattled breath.

His thumb softly strokes her cheek as he holds the grip of her eyes, feeling completely connected to her in this moment, raw and bare.

"I know, but you don't have to be. You're not alone in this anymore." He reassures her.

Sealing it with a kiss that promises her he's in this. Good or bad, they'll get through it together. As their lips part, Jax pulls Cheyenne close to his chest. Feeling her arms wrap desperately around him, her fingers dig in, he knows she needs this. They both do.

* * *

 **Notes:**

For those that think violence against women would never be tolerated in the club I encourage you to revisit episodes 4.03 When Gemma questions Clay about drug running and he comes at, 4.06 when Jax attacks Ima, or the episode that follows when Bobby sees what Jax did and nothings come of it. Or in 4.10 when Clay beats up Gemma and 4.11 when Jax finds out. He's pissed, but he doesn't do anything about it right away. I'm not saying they're cool with violence against women. I just think the in club, that culture, believe women have a place. I also think sometimes people don't always know how to handle it when they see or find out about domestic violence. They're not sure what to do, especially when the person it's happening to doesn't want help.

Also, I'm never really comfortable with writing sex. I'm never 100% percent sure it doesn't sound ridiculous or cheesy, but I felt this story called for it. This story is so raw and emotional. I felt the moment Cheyenne and Jax came back together should be equally raw. And I wanted to address one last thing, Cheyenne. My goal is not to portray Cheyenne as weak. I actually see Cheyenne as a fighter in her own way. She stands up herself against Edmond when and where she feels she can. Having no history of abuse before Edmond, this has changed her entire view of the world. But at the heart of her is a woman who loves her family deeply- the club, and especially her son. She loves Liam more than anything. And she is trying to do what she thinks is best in a really bad situation. But she is not a wallflower.

So what do you think? What do you think of Cheyenne? The triangle formation? Jax being Liam's dad?


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** I wanted to address a very important question that RhondaL brought up- Why has no one else figured out Liam is Jax's. For one, no one else knows they've slept together. But more importantly, I designed Cheyenne to hide that truth. Originally I pictured someone like Olivia Wilde when I imagined Cheyenne, but then I realized I needed someone who looked just enough like Jax that people would assume her child just looks like her. And that's what you have here. I picture Amber Heard (All controversy aside) when I created Cheyenne. Someone who resembles Jax just enough that others would assume Liam looks like her. Gemma and Cheyenne know the truth, because a mother always knows, and well that's Gemma for you. Excellent question. Feel free to throw out anymore if you have them. Also I made a banner for this story if you want to check it out.

* * *

 **We Found Love in A Hopeless Place**

 _I've been sleepwalking too close to the fire  
But it's the only place that I can hold you tight  
In this burning house_

Being with Jax has been the happiest time in Cheyenne's life. Having Liam, being his mom, that brought Cheyenne the deepest sense of meaning, deepest love of her life, but with everything so ugly and broken between her and Edmond, her life had never felt quite right. For years she had been slowly wasting away. Surrendering to a fate that destroyed her, but kept the club she loved thriving, prospering. A fate she didn't know how to escape she felt so buried within it. Jax changed all that.

He was her escape, even if he couldn't grant her complete freedom. The light returned to Cheyenne's world. The clouds parted and the sun returned. She was a better mother, reconnected with those in the club who had always been her family, because she finally didn't feel like she was suffocating in her own little world. She no longer resented them for her misery. She had finally found joy again and wanted to share it with them all.

Things with Edmond didn't change, but now that she wasn't completely alone in it, the price was easier to bare. And the pain he brought to her only served to ease her guilt. She knows what she's doing is wrong. It terrifies her, but not enough to stop it. Her love for Jax is far stronger.

Cheyenne knows what people would think if they knew the truth. They would think she and Jax were fuckin, but they'd be wrong. That's what she did with Edmond whenever he got lonely or horny enough. It was quick, impersonal and never lasted long. That's not what she shared with Jax. With Jax, Cheyenne remembered how to feel again. How to connect to another person. How to give herself completely. How to love.

Laying sprawled out on her bed, tangled in the sheets while Edmond's out on another distribution run, Jax aimlessly traces the bruises that line Cheyenne's back and arm. Her beautiful skin marred by his ugly hands. Jax tries not to focus on it when he's lost in her, but sometimes it's all he can see. And sometimes the guilt and failure over not doing something about it feels like more than Jax bare.

"One of these days I am going to kill him." Jax says with complete confidence, gritting his teeth as his fingertips sweep over a particularly dark bruise along her spine.

His conviction makes Cheyenne stir in the bed beside him. Slowly she rolls over to her other side to face him. Their skin makes contact, soft and smooth as her hand gently finds his face and their eyes connect.

"I don't need you to kill him, but I do need you." She whispers back, trying to sooth the anger blinding in his eyes.

"I'm going to get you and Liam out of this." Jax whispers back. The words like a promise to himself as much as her as his eyes barrel into her own from just a breath away.

"What I need is your love." Cheyenne responds back, her thumb gently dragging against the scruff of his face as she redirects the conversation to the only place that's safe to go.

The edge in Jax's eyes, the tension in his muscles slips away with her words. Reaching out for her under the sheets. Pulling her naked body flush against his own, Jax removes the remaining distance between them as his face leans in close.

"You have that." He swears it before his lips find hers in a heated wanting kiss that reignites the fire between them and not for the first time this morning. Stealing the breath from her lips, Jax tries to shows her as his hand drags down her figure, as he slowly rolls onto her, coming to rest between her thighs, as he shows her just how deep that love runs.

* * *

Cheyenne hates when they're all out on a run. She's misses them, worries. It's the longer runs that she selfishly likes best. The ones where Edmond has a wider distribution route. The sons watch his back and protect the shipment through northern California, but It's a wide route. So to lighten the load, the other charters share the job. Whose ever territory Edmond ends up in protects him and the cargo. Until he's close enough to home that Samcro goes back to secure his return.

Those are the runs where Cheyenne has the house to herself for a week, maybe a more. Those are times she lives for. When Jax practically moves in. They always have to be careful. No one, not even the club can learn the truth. But when she gets to watch Jax tickle their son, snuggle up with him on the couch, watching Saturday morning cartoon while she makes breakfast. When Cheyenne's heart swells with what could have been. These moments never last long enough, but she lives for them. Even though she knows she's playing with the deadliest fire of all.

The guys had all gotten back from a run earlier that day. Like the family they were, everyone greeted their return at the clubhouse when the guys rolled back into town tired from the road. Cheyenne had welcomed Edmond home with a warm embrace and Liam practically jumping out of her arms for his dad. She gave her dad a big hug too, glad to see he had returned home in one piece, but her eyes lingered on Jax. Quietly, secretly, in a way no one else would notice.

It took everything inside her not to go to him, because he was the one she missed the most over the past few days. The look in his eyes says the same thing, but this dangerous dance they play means they can never show their love to anyone else. It has to always be kept in the shadows. So Cheyenne hangs onto the hope that the family dinner Gemma was hosting that night would be her chance. Knowing he would be there. Praying they could steal a moment alone.

And after helping Gemma prepare a feast fit for her king and his burly men, Cheyenne keeping a loose eye on Jax as the house fills with their family. As more bodies fill the house, her heart grows more anxious, unsure they'll be able to get away. Until she goes upstairs to check on Liam napping in Jax's old bedroom. She's smiling down upon her little guy as he sleeps peacefully when she hears a noise in the room.

Her eyes shoot up and make contact with Jax standing in the doorway, watching her. The look in his eyes instantly sends butterflies fluttering in her belly, sends heat flushing through her.

Finally, alone a smile eclipses Jax's face, makes light shine from his piercing eyes. It's a beauty that's so addicting, so contagious, Cheyenne can't help, but beam back at him. The light in her eyes seems to be all the confirmation Jax needs as he slowly pulls the bedroom door halfway closed behind him. Cheyenne's nerves pick up with the implication of his actions. Everyone is just down stairs. Anyone could find them. With the house this full, the options are endless, but none of them good. And even though she's missed him desperately, that desperation hasn't made her careless.

But her fear never has a chance to take flight as Jax reaches her, gets ahold her. His hands grip her waist as he backs her up against the wall behind the door. His sexy smirk and the wanting spark in his eyes coaxing her every step.

"God, I missed you." Jax manages out on a thick desperate breath as his hand cups her cheek, the other secure on her waist as his mouth descends upon her, stealing the breath from her lip.

The danger makes it all the more sweet as Jax's tongue massages her own, rediscovering her taste. The hand at her waist pins her to wall as his other hand guides the pace of their kiss. Cheyenne melts under the seduction of his mouth, but she's also keenly aware of how risky this is. Pushing him back, they both fight to catch their breath.

"I missed you too, but everybody's down stairs," Cheyenne reminds him, needing him to be reasonable about this.

"When can I see?" Jax asks like a kid barely able to contain himself as he leans in to give her mouth a playful nip that begs for more.

Cheyenne stares back at that playful smirk on his face, the one that makes her weak in the knees.

"Didn't get enough pussy on the run?" She sarcastically spits back, cheeky grin on her face.

Even though they both she isn't really asking. Cheyenne teases him, she loves that part of their relationship, but she doesn't really want to know about any other women. She knows it's a part of his life she has no say in. Not while she's sharing a bed every night with another man. But she doesn't want to know one way or the other about it either.

A Cheshire grin widens on his face with her comment. He loves it when she gets mouthy.

"I don't want road pussy," Jax says back, his hand dropping to her thigh and slowly sliding up under her dress to her hip.

"I want your pussy." His words so intentionally hot and seductive, they could melt butter as this gaze sets her on fire.

Reaching for his hand as he begins to fiddle with the seam of her panties, Cheyenne shakes her head in amusement as her slowly tugs his hand out from under her dress. Her eyes boldly finding his own.

"Aren't you the gentleman," She practically laughs.

Jax smirks back at her, his baby blues lit up and playful.

"You know me babe, I'm all about the fairytale." He grins jokingly, sealing his words with a kiss that is anything, but joking.

Cheyenne finds herself getting lost in Jax again. Pinned between the wall and him as his hands caress her body in a way she's missed so badly, as his mouth makes her senseless. He's right, she really missed him too, but this is risky and stupid. Even for them. A terrible combination no matter how she spins it. So Cheyenne reluctantly breaks the kiss before they get any more out of hand.

"I'll see if I can get away later." She relents.

Another earth shattering smile widens on Jax's face before he leans in to give her a quick kiss. Turning to the bed, a gentler smile finds his face as he looks upon their son.

"How's my favorite little man doing?" He asks as he moves over to the bed Liam is fast asleep on.

"Good, he's happy your home." Cheyenne answers back, getting lost in the beauty of watching Jax and their son. Lost in the way the sight of them always fills her heart.

"Can I get him?" Jax asks barely able to hold himself back as he reaches the side of bed.

Smiling, Cheyenne nods. She can see how badly he's missed his boy. "I was just about to wake him anyway."

Gently Jax lifts Liam off the bed and into his arms.

"Hey buddy, it's me. Time to wake up little guy." He soothes as he softly rubs his back trying to wake him.

To the complete startle of both Jax and Cheyenne, Edmond appears in the doorway.

"What are you all doing up here?" He questions, but the edge on his voice, the way his eyes dart between them reeks of suspicion.

"Just came to get Liam before dinner." Cheyenne is quick with a lie and a forced smile, but her nerves are on alert, her heart thumping. Always afraid he'll put the pieces together. Afraid he'll find out. Because he's never liked her connect with Jax. He's always been threatened by it.

"Yeah, just dropping some of my stuff upstairs when I heard the little guy waking up. So I came in the grab him." Jax chimes, backing Cheyenne up. Not blind to the fear in her eyes. A fear that only makes him want to bash Edmond's face in.

Eyeing them both for a long moment, Edmond slowly nods. His true feelings held close to the vest.

* * *

After dinner Jax and Ope step out back to get some air. The crisp Charming breeze that always seems to roll in this time of night. Passing a joint between them as they take in the night sky that's settling in around them, Jax realizes they aren't the only ones with that same idea as he spots Cheyenne and Edmond on the side of the house, tucked back along the fence. He keeps pace with Ope, but he watches over Cheyenne from the corner of his eye.

As much as he loves coming home, getting back to Cheyenne and Liam, he hates knowing his return brings Edmond back to Cheyenne too. He doesn't trust that asshole and he doesn't like him alone with Cheyenne. Most days he doesn't have a say in that, but keeping an eye on them right now, he does. He tries to follow what Ope is saying as he takes another drag from the joint and passes it back. Something about the long ride, feeling beat, gearing up for the next shipment, but Jax can't really follow it. His attention keeps getting drawn back to the corner of the house.

He can't make out what they're saying from this far away, but something about it doesn't seem right. Something about it puts him on edge. And as Opie tries to pass him back the joint, his suspicions are proven correct. Jax watches from across the yard as their heated conversation turns nasty when Edmond snatches Cheyenne's arm, yanking him to her, trying to make a point about something he's saying. Jax's pupil dilates as he watches her defiantly rip her arm free from his grip and try to leave, but Edmond isn't having that as he snatches her face and yanks it back to him. Gripping her jaw until she's forced to look him in the eye as he gets in her face. It all happens so fast- seconds, heartbeats. Jax is sure Opie doesn't see it, but it's all Jax needs.

Tossing the joint to the ground like a forgotten thought, leaving Ope midsentence, Jax races across the backyard, charging at Edmond in a fit of rage.

Reaching them in seconds, before anyone sees it coming, Jax shoves Edmond away from Cheyenne and into the wooden fence. Catching him while he's still stunned, Jax takes the upper hand and sends a quick blow to Edmond's gut, losing control against the anger racing inside him.

"Don't ever touch her or I'll fucking kill you!" Jax hollers in a fit a rage as he sends another steel fist squarely into Edmond's jaw.

Not one to lie there and take it, Edmond gets in a few counter blows. Sending Jax stumbling back against the side of the house as the two brawl it out, but the fire inside Jax's gut, a fire that's been burning and rising for years is no match for whatever Edmond has.

Jax can hear Cheyenne screaming for them to stop, but even her pleas can't reach him, he's beyond reason at this point. Edmond's only saving grace is when the other guys break it up. Opie pulls Jax off Edmond, holding him back, while Bobby keep Edmond from starting it back up.

"Sick piece of shit!" Jax hollers at the man he despises more than anyone before spitting on his flannel shirt.

"Hey, Hey!" Clay calls out coming up on the scene. Tig and Gemma with Liam in her arms just a step behind.

"What the hell's going on out here?" Gemma demands, her eyes shooting straight to her son after taking in the sight of a busted up and bloody Edmond.

"Just a little disagreement between brothers, that right boys? We're all just worn down from the run." Clay steps up before anyone can say a word otherwise.

Eying both men with a silent word of caution that it would be wise to keep it just that, because he knows what this is about and he isn't having it. His gaze drills alittle longer and harder into a still fuming Jax.

Letting out a heated huff, Edmond shakes Bobby loose.

"Aye," He concedes, wiping the smeared blood from his split eye.

But Jax isn't so quick, there's murder in his gaze as he stares down Edmond wishing he could strip him of his last breath.

"Jax," He hears Clay drawl out a warning, knowing what he's gotta say, what he's expected to do, even if it's bullshit.

"Yeah," Jax spits out on a low gravel breath.

"See darlin' everything fine." Clay reassures Gemma, while sending a message out to everyone else too. It feels unconvincing as Edmond storms back into the house to clean up, but President's order, no one's questioning it.

Standing against the side of the house as he dabs at the blood from his split lip, Jax isn't surprised when his mom isn't satisfied with the answer.

"The hell happened?" Gemma interrogates on a low insistent breath as her eyes scan the backyard and she clutches Liam closer in her arms.

A hot breath leaves his chest as Jax's gaze drift to Cheyenne. He spots her standing with her dad a few feet away, clearly shaken up. Watches silently as Tig comforts her, rubbing her arms before he places a kiss upon her forehead. That should be him comforting her. Reaching out to the woman he loves, but he can't, because no one can know she's his. Just another reminder this whole situation is bullshit. And to think Clay knows exactly why he went after Edmond and does nothing, only serves to piss Jax off worse.

His heated eyes return to his mom, knowing what he has to say. Brothers hash I out from time to time, but they all know this was different, anger driven, but it would be unwise to counter his president right now, even with his mom. If Gemma hasn't figured out the truth by now, spelling it out for her isn't going to help anyone.

"Nothing Ma, just a disagreement." He lies, before turning his attention to Liam.

"You alright, bubby?" He asks, ruffling his soft blonde hair. Checking in with his son to make sure he wasn't frightened, because all this ugliness is the last thing he wants him growing up in.

"I good." Liam smiles and nods to his favorite uncle.

"Good," Jax smiles back, his little boy's beaming face, the light in his eyes, the only thing that can quiet his anger.

Gemma lets out of long slow huff of discontent. She isn't believing a word, but sees she isn't going to get the truth right now.

"Let's get some ice on that." She explains before turning for the house.

Jax is cleaning the blood off his scrapped up knuckles in the upstairs bathroom when he spots Cheyenne pass by and return a second later with Liam's bag in her hand. She never looks his way the first time she passed him, as if she hadn't even noticed who it was, but on her return she stops. Lingering in the hall her eyes find his and freeze. Motionless as his hands lingering under the hot water.

Shutting off the faucet, Jax brings his wet hands to the towel hanging on the rack as he watches Cheyenne's gaze sweep rapidly up and down the hall, making sure they're alone. Satisfied with what she finds, Cheyenne steps to him as he meets her at the bathroom door.

"Are you ok?" She asks on a wavering breath, her fingers faintly brushing over his face to access the damage.

"I'm fine," Jax reassures as he gently pulls her hands from his face, giving her knuckles a tender kiss.

"I don't want you getting hurt, not because of me, Jax. It's not worth that." She whispers back to him. Pleading with him. Pain barreling from her eyes, bursting on her breath.

Wrapping her face in his hands, Jax holds her gaze. Staring at the woman he loves. He can see it in her eyes, the fear, the concern in her eyes for him. And the worry the scene he just caused is going to stir things up

This whole thing is a bloody shit storm and he convinces himself it's ok, because he's watching out for her. Because he loves her and Liam, because it's his arms she calls home. It's him she loves, but it's moments like tonight that remind him he's only fooling himself. They can play house all they want behind closed doors, but their love is still forbidden, she still belongs to that monster, and there is very little he can do about that without putting her at risk. But he doesn't regret what he did. Doesn't regret the price to him, because he would do it again in a second. He can only pray his actions won't have consequences for her.

Leaning in, Jax presses his forehead against her own.

"I might have to live with knowing what he does, but I can't just sit by and watch it." Jax whispers back on a deep husky breath before pulling her against his chest and into his arms.

Later that night, after putting Liam down for bed, Cheyenne goes to her room to turn in too. After the guys coming home, the family dinner at Gemma's, and then the fight, Cheyenne feels exhausted. Spotting the light on in the bathroom that connects to her room, she moves to it. Standing in the doorway she spots Edmond at the sink. Examining his swollen and bruised face. Despite all the damage between them she feels bad she caused all this.

"Want me to get you some ice to put on that?" She asks, reaching out, trying.

Edmond turns to her slowly, and when their eyes connect Cheyenne regrets ever going to the door. The look in his eyes is icy it's so cold. It sends a shiver running down her spine. Her stomach clenches. It's a look she knows all too well. He blames her for what happened tonight, what happened to him. And now she's going to have to pay for that.

* * *

A few weeks later, it's early afternoon when Tig stops by to check in on his daughter and grandson. Finding her car out front, he gives the door a quick rap of his knuckles and let's himself in like he's done so many times before. With Edmond out on another run Tig likes to keep an eye on his girl and grandson, everyone does.

The club is a family, they look out for each other, but Cheyenne and Liam are his world. He and his daughter had been distance for a few years. For reasons Tig still doesn't understand, but lately, it was like he had his little girl back again. Like the daughter he had always been so close to came back to him. And that meant everything to Tig. With Fawn and Dawn barely on speaking terms with him, Cheyenne and Liam were all he had outside the club.

Letting himself in, Tig was surprised to find the house empty and quiet. He had half expected to find Cheyenne whipping Liam up some lunch or working to keep the place spotless like she does. An uneasy apprehension begins to mount in his chest momentarily until he thinks it through. Liam might be napping.

"Chey," Tig calls out announcing himself while trying to hold his voice at a level that won't wake his grandson in case he is taking a nap. His daughter doesn't answer back like she normally would, but a distinct indiscernible sound can be heard emanating from down the hall.

Her silence does nothing to quite his nerves as Tig makes a beeline for hall and starts moving fast. His gut tight with apprehension. Realizing the noise is coming from his daughter's bedroom, Tig doesn't hesitate as he pushes open the door and barges in.

He spots Cheyenne right away, standing on the side of her bed. Their eyes meet, fear and alarm shooting from her pupil. It takes him a heartbeat to realize she's half naked. Standing in only a tank top and her panties. That's when he realizes she isn't alone. His eyes shoot to the other side of the bed to find none other than Jax Teller standing shirtless, his hands making quick work to refastening the buckle on his low hung jeans.

Everyone freezes in mid-motion, Tig's eyes shoot to the haphazard bed, sheets and blankets strewn about. His eyes dart from side to side between Jax and his daughter as the unthinkable truth becomes very real. And that noise he had heard earlier suddenly makes perfect sense, they had been scrambling to get dressed. They just weren't fast enough.

An anger instantly begins to build in Tig's heart as his gaze lands squarely on Jax Teller and hardens. A son, a fellow brother, his goddamn VP was nailing his daughter while her old man is away. He knew Jax got his fair share of pussy, but to cross the line with another brother's daughter? Tig hadn't seen that coming. That stupid son of a bitch has his little girl tangled up in one hell of a mess. One that could cost her and his grandson very dearly if the truth was ever to come to light. That realization makes Tig sick and sets ablaze a fire within him more powerful than hell itself.

"You just crossed the line brother." Tig snarls before lunging at Jax.

He can hear his daughter scream "No!", as he slams Jax against the wall and nails him in the face with a quick blow.

Just as quick, Jax charges back, and Tig finds himself being thrown onto the bed before being socked in the eye. Tig doesn't feel the pain. He doesn't feel anything, but adrenaline and rage as the pair stumble around the room locked in a heated bawl. Knocking into furniture and breaking anything that gets in their way as they match each other blow for blow.

"Stop it! God damnit stop!" Tig can hear Cheyenne scream at them, but Tig knows they're beyond reason as Jax locks him in a chokehold while he throws an elbow in Jax's ribs.

Like two dogs locked in a vicious fight there's no breaking them apart. Until Tig slams Jax against the bedroom window, nearly breaking it, and Jax sends a quick knee to his gut and shoves him back. Tig lands against the far wall, they both jump back to their feet ready to go back at each other, but Cheyenne jumps in between them before Tig can make a move.

"Enough!" She orders on a frantic breath, her pleading adamant eyes shooting back and forth between them.

Tig is huffing and winded, trying to catch his breath as his daughter's eyes scan them. Tig takes pride in seeing Jax has a split lip and his cheek is already swollen, but now that his adrenaline is draining, he can feel his eye is swelling quick and his nose might be broken. And he's pretty sure they'll both look worse tomorrow. But Tig doesn't regret it. For his daughter's honor, he wishes he'd made Jax bleed more.

"Let's be clear Teller, this isn't done. Not by a long shot! Not after doing this to my daughter!" Tig hollers at Jax, blinded by rage, but Jax is just as pissed and quick lipped.

"To her? I'm the only one here looking out for her! The only one who really loves her!" Jax explodes back.

"Stop!" Cheyenne shouts, throwing her arms in the air.

Tig catches his daughter's eyes as she standing between him in Jax. "What are you doing, baby?" He finally asks her on a huffed uneven breath. Unable to understand how she ended up tangled up in this.

Lock on his eyes, Tig watches as Cheyenne's face slowly crumbles, tears filling her sparkling blue eyes as her head slowly shakes from side to side. In that moment he can see it, this is far worse and uglier than he even thought. This isn't about loneliness, she loves him. His little girl loves Jax Teller.

"Dad…" Her voice cracks as she says the only words she can manage out.

* * *

Sitting silently side by side on her back patio step, Cheyenne and her old man stare out at the hot California sun shielded under the trees that scatter her yard. She managed to get Jax out of the house without the two of them going to blows again, but the exchange was painfully awkward and their anger barely contained.

The only saving grace in all this is that Liam was spending the day with Gemma, but sitting next to her dad, about to own up to her indiscretions, Cheyenne isn't feeling relieved. She's absolutely mortified and ashamed to have her father see her in this light.

"How long has this been going on?" Tig questions her and Cheyenne can still hear the disbelief on his breath as he tries to wrap his mind around what he's just learned.

"Almost nine months." She numbly answers, trying not let his imminent reaction wound her.

She knows what her dad is going to think of all this before she ever hears him let out a long heavy sigh as he runs an uneasy hand through his messy curly hair. She's always hated disappointing him. Ever since she was a little girl and right now she feels like a complete failure in his eyes.

"That why you been so happy lately?" Tig asks bluntly. She can hear the telltale twinge in his voice, as the pieces are all starting to come together.

Cheyenne bites down on her lower lip as the weight of his question settles on her heart. As it leaves her with a guilty heavy feeling for reaping such joy from her lies and deceit.

Hesitating for a moment, she nods slowly. "Yeah."

Because this is the happiest she's ever been. With Jax and her son, getting a taste of the life she could never truly have. Even though it was wrapped in lies, covered in cheat, she had been happy.

She can hear a long slow breath leave him as he slowly shakes his head.

"What are you doing, baby?" Tig asks almost rhetorically as he turn to her.

Running a quick hand through her hair, Cheyenne finally turns to him too.

"Me and Edmond aren't happy, Dad. We haven't been happy since shortly after Liam was born. We stay together for the club and Liam." She finals opens up.

Needing her dad to understand that she hasn't transformed into some cold selfish bitch or Jax's naïve little puppet. The reasons behind her actions are very real and deeply rooted, even if they are inexcusable.

"Marriage is hard, Chey. Shit, I failed twice." Tig counters on a long breath, one he would always use when she was growing up and he was trying to bestow some fatherly wisdom.

"It's not just that. He's drunk all the time. We can't stand each other-" Cheyenne says, her heart beginning to pick up its pace.

The words on the edge of her lips. Itching to tell him what Edmond is really about. What he really does. But her heart cautions her. Cautions her old man would probably do something hasty. Strike out in a fit of rage and get himself in the middle of a shit storm. Piss off the wrong people who could really make him pay. An outcome she could never live with. Even worse, there's a small part of her, an insistent internal voice that warns her he might not believe her. After catching her with Jax, after what just happened, part of her fears he'll think she's just making excuses.

"I'm going inside, baby." Tig finally blurts out with a sigh.

His confession instantly stops her monologue. All her thoughts go quiet and the fight rapidly leaves her as her mind hones in on what he's just said. Hoping he doesn't mean what she thinks he does.

"What are you talking about?" Cheyenne questions, her heart beginning to pound harder as the whole conversation shifts.

"Me and some of the guys are going to be doing some time. Lawyer pleaded it down as best she could, but we're going in. Jax didn't say anything?" He relays to her on a heavy breath, the look in his dark eyes softening as he takes note of the sadness in hers.

Numb, hardly able to wrap her mind around what her dad is telling her, Cheyenne slowly shakes her head, no.

Hardly able to comprehend a world where both Jax and her dad are doing time and she's left out here with Edmond. Cheyenne feels every breath grow a little harder, her heart heavy as it sinks in. She's going to be alone with this. All of it. All over again.

"This isn't the right time to do anything hasty, Chey. I can't protect you while I'm inside. You understand what I'm saying baby? Gemma and the club will look after you and Liam but… You need to break it off with Jax. Nothing good is going to come of that." Tig cautions, the look in his eyes reaching out to her.

Cheyenne can see it in the intensity of his pupil, he's trying to protect her, even now. She wants to tell him about Liam. Tell him wonderful, beautiful things can come from her and Jax, but she knows she can't, because that still won't save her. It won't change the brutal future she's facing. She can see that he hears her about Edmond, but he can't help her break free while in prison. No one can and that leaves only one option left.

* * *

After speaking with her dad, Cheyenne heads to Jax's house with a heavy heart. Praying she has the courage to what has to be done. It all happened so fast, she can still hardly wrap her mind around it all. How she lost everything in the blink of an eye. A day ago she had been happy. Hell, this morning she had been happy. Lost in the arm of the man she loves, before the sound of their son scampering down the hall pulled him from the bed as went to scoop him in his arms. Her heart can't bear the thought of losing her dad and Jax. Her heart can't bear going back to the hell she was living in before Jax saw her and pulled her from the flames. But she's no being given a choice.

Jax had picked Liam up from his mom's like she asked. She can only imagine how he explained the bruises on his face to Gemma, but right now, that's the least of her concerns. After showing herself in, she finds him watching Finding Nemo with their son on the couch and the beauty of that moment, of that sight, slices her heart wide open. Jax's eyes catch hers as he glances over his shoulder to see who's come in. With the sight of her, he moves to stand, but Cheyenne waves him off, telling him to stay as she takes a seat on the couch beside him and her son.

With the sight of his mommy, Liam lunges for her with a big smile. "Hi Baby," she smiles, planting him with kisses.

"You having fun?" She asks, her heart heavy as she sees so much of Jax in him.

"Yeah, we watch my favorite movie." Liam smiles big with a hearty nod, before he climbs off his mom's lap and moves to the beanbag chair Jax got just for him and plops down in it.

"You ok?" She can hear Jax ask cautiously with concern.

No, the answer radiates through her entire body. Threatens to start the tears flowing, but Cheyenne pushes them back. She has to be strong if she's going to make it through this. Lifting her gaze to Jax, Cheyenne sucks in a deep breath to stay strong.

"Were you going to tell me?" She asks him, getting straight to the point.

Cheyenne watches confusion surface in his steel blue eyes before recognition takes its place. With a quick huff and a slow nod, Jax understands what Tig told her.

"Of course I was… I just didn't want to say anything until things were certain." He admits, the look in his eyes revealing the pain on his heart, that he wanted to spare her that pain if he could.

"Are things certain?" She finds herself asking, hanging onto the faintest of hopes even though she already knows the answer.

His eyes radiate with sadness and the weight of having to tell her this as he slowly nods a confirmation.

"Twenty-four months if we behave inside, it was the lowest they'd plead us down to."

Letting out a heavy shuttered breath that comes from a heart that's breaking, Cheyenne looks away to hide the tears that threaten to fill her eyes. Her gaze falls to her little boy happily watching one of his favorite movies, oblivious to the heartache and suffering around him. She smiles with his innocence. It's the only beautiful thing this ugly life hasn't tarnished.

Letting her love for him empower her, because it's the only fuel in her heart that can never die out, Cheyenne takes a deep breath and turns back to Jax. Placing a gently hand upon his she what she has to do and delivers the fatal blow.

"We have to end this. We both knew this would happen eventually." She says gently, her eyes locked on his as anger and disbelief fill his face before he quickly pulls away from her.

"Aren't you tired of it? Sacrificing yourself for the club." Jax flippantly throws at her in the heat of the moment.

"That's not what this is." She answers back adamantly. Keeping a watchful eye on Liam to ensure he hasn't picked up on the change in their tone.

"Every time they need something. Every time they ask you to do their dirty work. You do whatever they want, no matter the cost." Jax continues to rant on a low hurt filled breath, his breaking heart getting the best of him.

"You're going away." She finally snaps at him, her words instantly disarming him as Jax's face freezes before the anger slowly slips away.

"I am going to have to get through this on my own. Take care of our son without you. I love you Jax, but we both knew we were never going to get away. This is always where we were going to end up. The club was never going to let us break free. I will never keep Liam from you, but you have to let me go. It's the only way I'm going to make it through this." Her voice begins to quiver and shake as her strength wanes.

Looking into Jax's eyes, seeing the love he has for her, a love mirrored in her own heart, Cheyenne doesn't want to do this. But if there's anything she's learned, it's life is unfair. And their love was always doomed, before it ever started. She just didn't want to accept that.

The pain in his eyes is unbearable to watch, because there's no mercy here, not for either of them. Rising slowly off the couch, Cheyenne goes for her son, unable to see Jax's pain any longer. Kneeling down, she strokes the hair off his forehead to garner his attention.

"We have to go home baby. We can finish the movie there." She tells him.

A pouty lip of disappointment forms on his face, but slowly he agrees. Scooping her little boy into her arms, Cheyenne moves for the door as Liam waves goodbye. She almost makes it before, Jax reaches her, gently taking her arm.

Turning back to him their eyes meets, both blinding with pain. "Cheyenne…" Jax practically begs her.

"If you love me as much as I believe you do; you won't make this harder than it already is. You'll let me go." She pleads with him in return, because she doesn't know how much strength she has left within her to do what's right. What she has to do.

The look in Jax's piercing blue eyes steals the breath from her lips it's so filled with pain, before he leans down to kiss her. His lips crushing against her own as he tries to show her how deep his love runs, how it'll never die, and that he'll do this for her, but it'll never be what he wants.

When their kiss breaks, Cheyenne is left breathless and barely holding it together as Jax places a gentle kiss on Liam's temple. "I love you, Buddy." He whispers before letting her go.

* * *

Three weeks later Jax finds himself alone in a cell. Seated on a hard flat cot as iron bars and cement walls stare back at him. Alone in a cell, alone with his thoughts, Jax has spent every day since he got locked up thinking about Cheyenne and his son. What they might be going through while left alone with that monster. Feeling like a failure for getting caught up and locked away where he can't protect the people who need him the most.

He thinks about what he will do when he gets out. How he will fight to get them back. At the very least get them free of all of this. With hours to kill and twenty-four months to think about it, Jax knows he has plenty of time to work out the details, to figure it out, because as long as he's in here, his girl and his son will be his only focus, the only thing on his mind. Getting back to them as soon as he can, and getting them out of their hell once and for all.

He keeps his nose out of trouble. He's trying to do his time quietly and get out as fast as he can. Try not to let his guilt and worry eat him up inside. Cheyenne doesn't visit and he knows he can't call, but makes Opie swear to look out for and Liam. Jax doesn't tell him why, he can't. Jax knows if he does Opie will fly off the handle and that's a fight Jax doesn't want going down while he's locked away somewhere he can't protect his family.

On visitation day, he sends Opie home with letters that are only meant for her eyes. Jax is sure his friend has some questions about the situation, but like the best friend he is, he doesn't ask. Feeling like he's trapped worlds away from his family. Jax focused on getting back to them. He only prays it's enough.

* * *

Staring down at those two blue lines, Cheyenne feels like she can't breathe. Her jaw falls slack, but the air still escapes her. Her stomach feels like it's twisting into suffocating knots. When the breath finally finds her it comes in a sharp desperate gasp. Rattling past her lips and sending tears stinging in her eyes.

Cheyenne feels like her world is falling apart around her as she grabs onto the bathroom countertop to stay on her feet. Her eyes glued upon those two blue lines as if they're a loaded gun about to blow her away at any moment.

This can' t be happening; the thought races throw her mind. Denying a truth that is far too cruel, too harsh to be true. But the lines never move, never waver, they stare hauntingly back her and refuse to budge.

Her lip begins to tremble as her heart sinks. She feels warm tears begin to run down her cheeks with the knowledge this is really happening.

With tingling fingers she grabs the pregnancy test off the counter top and throws it against the mirror in a fit of rage.

"God damnit!" She screams, with everything breaking inside her.

She stumbles back against the bathroom wall, slides down it, and sinks to the ground. Burying her face in her knees, Cheyenne covers her mouth and sobs violently. Her whole body shaking from the unbearable pain inside her. Her mind shoots into overdrive. It could be Edmond's. She knows it could be, but the sick feeling inside her, the one that has her sobbing on her bathroom floor knows it's not. This baby is Jax's. Just like the one before.

She knows she's fucked up in the worst way possible, all over again. And now it's not just her and Jax who that puts at risk, but Liam too. The thought alone sends her body shaking, her breath gasping. Second guessing every moment she was ever with Jax.

In a fit of panic the thought hits her- She could get rid of it. Make this all go away before it ever starts, before anyone finds out. But even just the thought of that makes her cry harder. She knows in her heart she couldn't do it. Maybe before Liam, but now, now that knows what's growing inside her, what it will become, someone like Liam, someone she made with love. The only piece of Jax she can ever keep. She knows she can't do it and live with herself too.

Cheyenne can hardly breathe as her biggest mistake swallows her whole. As she spirals down an all too familiar rabbit hole that's now deeper and more deadly. As her mind searches for answers it can't find. Warm tears soak her hand as Cheyenne loses herself in the fear and pain of her predicament, until a tiny voice pulls her from it all.

"Mommy?" She hears Liam call from the bathroom doorway.

Her head pops up instantly with the sound of his voice. A voice that can warm her soul no matter what storm she's lost in. Because that little boy is her everything. The reason she's lives. The reason she fights. She reasons she breathes at all.

Quickly wiping the tears from her face, Cheyenne forces a smile she knows probably won't fool him.

"Hi baby," She calls back as calm as she can.

Without a word, Liam goes to his mommy, wrapping his little arms around her as best as he can as he climbs into her lap and burrows in.

"Don't cry mommy. Don't be sad." He tells her. His big blue eyes watching her so carefully as if his little heart wishes it could will her pain away with his hugs.

Pulling him close, Cheyenne kisses the top of his head and gently rubs his back.

"Mommy's ok, baby. Mommy's ok." Cheyenne reassures, and holding her baby in her arms she doesn't know what she's going to do. Doesn't know what the right answer is. This feels like an impossible situation, especially with Jax locked up. But her heart reminds her, this baby is like Liam. It's a gift, her blessing in this ugly shit storm she calls her life. The only bright spot in all this mess. It isn't their fault. None of it is, and it's her job to keep them safe, and love them. They're the only thing she has left.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

This chapter is a real rollercoaster. Where it starts and where it ends are very different places. In the beginning of this chapter Cheyenne is the happiest she's ever been. Things aren't perfect, far from it, but have Jax by her side, the man she loves so much, really does make all the difference for her. And by the end of this chapter, she's left once again in a dark and hopeless place.

Jax too starts this chapter happy. He's struggled more with the dilemma of loving her, getting to have her, but knowing she still went home to that monster. Jax could never quite resolve the guilt and anger he felt about that, but at the end of this chapter he is in a dark place too. Feeling like he's failed this family, but also driven, now more than ever, to get them away from Edmond. So how will this new pregnancy change things up?

So what did you guys think? What's your take on this twisted triangle? On Cheyenne's choices? Jax's choices? Cheyenne getting pregnant again? Is your sense of dread continuing to build for this pair? Because it should. The stakes just keep getting higher and when it all comes crashing down...

This story has about two more chapters before it concludes. I will be updating Hey Little Sister Next, but I'll be out of town on vacation for a week. So no updates until then. Thank you so all those who review! I love reading your thoughts!


	4. Chapter 4

**Note:** I hadn't planned on updating this story first, but my friend wanted an update so I knew I had to make it happened. This is one goes out to Morgan. I have not given up on my other SOA story, but I have lacked some serious inspiration. Hopefully I'll get some soon.

 **Losing My Mind**

 _I think I'm losing my mind now  
It's in my head, darling I hope  
That you'll be here when I need you the most_

 _So don't let me down_

The first year the guys were inside was tough. Tougher then Cheyenne even imagined. She had no idea how much she relied on Jax and her dad mentally and emotionally until they were gone. She hadn't realized the strength she pulled from them, just knowing they were nearby if she needed them, until they weren't.

She had stumbled and struggled to be strong in the beginning. Sinking into the pits of her own hopeless life, but by focusing on her son and the baby growing inside her, Cheyenne always pulled herself out of the darkness.

She had toyed with the idea of going to see Jax countless times. Let his irresistible smirk lick her wounds, tell him about the baby, but it never seemed safe. So much could go wrong and there was nothing he could do from behind bars.

Too much room for people to put the pieces together. So Cheyenne kept away. Only visiting her dad on days she knew Jax didn't also have visitors.

It wasn't until the birth of her daughter that Cheyenne finally felt strong again too. Ella has her mom's wavy blonde hair with Jax's sky blue eyes. She looked so much like her big brother and her arrival gave Cheyenne the extra boost she needed to fight on again.

But she had no idea how much she would need that strength until Ella was born. She had no idea how bad things would get.

A month and a half after her daughter was born, Edmond's father, Cameron Hayes was taken out. Found strangled at a Depot in Ireland, army tag on his head.

Edmond's grief was insurmountable. He was devastated to his core. He insisted they all go to Ireland, but Cheyenne knew better. She knew if they went to Ireland, he'd never let them leave.

With a newborn and small child to protect, Cheyenne refused. A decision she would pay greatly for. In all his drunken grief Edmond hadn't taken her refusal lightly. Greif stricken and angry at the world, Edmond had given her a beating that night Cheyenne would never forget.

That was the night Gemma learned the awful truth, because after Cheyenne regained consciousness on the linoleum tile of her kitchen floor, bloody and in excruciating pain, she had somehow managed to gather her babies and make it to Gemma's to heal and hide.

Cheyenne will never forget the look on Gemma face as she limped up the drive way, car seat heavy in her weak hands as Liam's clung to her side.

Three broken ribs, her lip split open, her cheekbones covered in open scrapes and bruises, but it was hard to see past how swollen and bruised her eyes were.

Gemma had kept her and kids safe. Called in a friend of the club to tend to Cheyenne's wounds. And even stood against Edmond when he came looking for her. Told him at gun point, his wife and kids weren't going to Ireland and that was final.

Edmond had made the journey back home to mourn and bury his father alone. He was gone for months and Cheyenne had prayed he wouldn't return, but to her utter dismay, he eventually did.

And when he showed up at Gemma's expecting his family back, apologizing for everything, Cheyenne felt she had no choice. Under Gemma's advisement, she hadn't told the club the truth about Edmond. Still trying to protect the club her heart wasn't quite ready to give up on yet. Too many of the guys were locked up.

Both women knew what the guys not doing time would do if they learned the truth. And the blowback that would come from that kind of revenge wasn't something the club was equipped to take on with half their crew inside.

So Cheyenne reluctantly returned to him. She could see in the coldness of his eyes he had changed. The loss of his father had made him a different man. A more dangerous one with less to lose. But she was stronger too. Not the wife he left behind. Her guard in place. Counting the day until the guys got out. Stuck between a rock and a hard place

* * *

It all happened so fast. One minute Jax is waiting to make a call back home, the next he's getting shoved back and a phone cord is coming down around his neck.

It all happens too quick for him to form any sort of real defense. He knew something was coming. The way the guys all filed out of line for the phone. The Russian steadily approaching him.

But nothing could have prepared Jax for the feel of burning heat as that shank pierces through him, one- two- three times. The pain is instantly agonizing and overwhelming to his sense.

Jax feels helpless as the phone cord releases from his neck, blood staining his shirt as it spills from his wounds, as he slides to the concrete floor below.

The asshole who stabbed him is speaking Russian in his face, but all Jax can focus on is breathing as his body trembles and shakes from a mortal wound.

Lying against the cold cement floor, Jax tries to access the damage as he struggles to breath. Every breath growing harder than the last. He's been stabbed in the chest. A blow he's sure was meant for the heart, but he's not sure if it reached it as he grunts and fights to stay alive.

Liam and Cheyenne fill his mind. Their smiling faces drive him on. Knowing how much they need him. Jax grunts as he forces himself to breathe, forces himself to keep living. Living for them. This isn't the plan. He has to get out of here. He has to get his family somewhere safe.

Jax can feel the blood soaking up his shirt, he can feel it pooling around him as he gasps and struggles just to breath.

But Jax refuses to surrender. Refuses to give up and die, even as he feels the life draining out of him with each passing breath.

He won't do that to them. He can't. He's all they have. And Jax knows better than anyone what will happen to his family if he doesn't get out of here and rescue them.

He can't let that happened. Won't let that happen. He loves them too much. So despite the excruciating burning pain in his chest and lungs, Jax keeps breathing.

* * *

Marriage is hard, even under the best of circumstances. Made all the much harder under bad circumstances. It's the routines that destroy it. The day in and day out that slowly eat away at the magic that once made your love, your bond that feels bigger and greater than anything.

It's the blind repetition of routine that wears you down. All the lost dreams, the compromises. Makes you feel numb to the love that was once all you could think about.

Or worse, you're bitterly annoyed by a life you're sleepwalking through, that feels meaningless. As if you're slowly wasting away your days with a partner your barely know anymore.

Cheyenne can pinpoint the exact moment she loses all remaining faith in Edmond. The moment she realizes he has no redeeming qualities. The moment that teaches her she can never let her guard down with him. And whatever sense of safety she had was false and misplaced.

She had convinced herself the children played by a second set of rules in his heart. That the children he believed to be his own were somehow spared and immune to his reckless rage. Like so many life lessons before this one, Cheyenne had to learn the hard way she was wrong.

She's fixing dinner for her family when it all goes sour. Jax and her dad have been inside a year and a half. Liam is almost five, Ella is ten months.

It was an unseasonably warm September evening as the breeze blew in from the open windows while Edmond sits slumped in his recliner. One six pack deep and working his way through another.

It isn't even five o'clock and he's been drinking for hours. Knowing this isn't a good sign, knowing this means there is a very real chance things aren't going to go well for her tonight, Cheyenne tries to ignore him. Kept out of his way as she focuses on her kids and keeps her hands busy putting together a meal for her family.

Flashing her baby girl a smile as Ella coos and chews cheerios in her highchair, Cheyenne spots Liam playing with matchbox cars on the floor in the Livingroom.

She's still not clear what starts it. She's cutting tomatoes when it begins. But one moment everything is fine, albeit anxious, and the next Edmond has Liam by his shoulders.

Gripping her boy tight as he explodes. Yelling through the house in a voice that flies in her boy's terrified face, that bounces off the walls and instantly sends Ella crying in fear.

Cheyenne's response is immediate and sure. There is no thinking. No assessing. No wondering what to do. In that moment the most primal part of her shoots to life. A part of her she didn't know she had in her until she became a mother.

In an instant Cheyenne has the knife she was using against Edmond's throat. The blade pressed against his neck as tomato juice stains his skin.

"Let him go." She orders, her eyes drilling into Edmond's profile.

Her heart pounding wildly in her chest as adrenaline courses through her veins. As the fiercest part of her heart reigns down furry. Edmond's never touched Liam or Ella. Never laid a hand on them in anger. His rage has always been reserved for her and her alone, but ever since his father died, he's been a different man. And she regrets not using more caution.

Slowly Edmond's face turns to her. Their eyes meet as a mixture of disbelief and surprise hangs in his infuriated gaze. As if he didn't think she had it in her. He underestimated her.

"What are you doing, Cheyenne?" He asks in a cool eerie voice that edges with hints of rage.

"I said let him go." Her repeats through a tight jaw as she presses the blade deeper into his skin, her eyes drilling into his.

In that moment her heart breaks for her son, breaks that this is happening to him, breaks that he has to see her like this, but Cheyenne holds steadfast, because she'd do anything in this world to protect him and his sister. She may take Edmond's rage, but she'd never stand for it directed toward her babies.

With a huff, Edmond releases Liam from his grip.

"Liam come here." Cheyenne calls right away as Edmond lets go of her boy.

Trying to keep her voice calm as tension cuts through them all and her baby girl's cries continue to echo through the room and cut through her.

But Cheyenne can't reach her baby, can't comfort her yet, can't let her guard down with Edmond in this moment. It isn't safe as he glares at her, ready to pounce.

As Liam reaches her side, Cheyenne runs her hand over his hair, his face, his shoulder, trying to reassure her baby and herself as her eyes stay glued to Edmond and the knife holds steady to his neck.

"You ok, baby?" Cheyenne asks on a wavering breath. A breath that can't hide the heartache and guilt eating her up inside.

Silently Liam nods as fear radiates from his big blue eyes as he looks up at his mommy.

"Ella's crying." His scared little voice tells her as if she doesn't already know.

Nodding, Cheyenne tries to save him from anymore of this.

"I know baby. I'm gonna get her, but I need you to do something for me, ok? I want you to go pack a bag. Get some cloths, PJ's, and your toothbrush. We're going on a sleepover tonight. And grab Ella's diaper bag on your way back to me." She slowly instructs, trying to reassures him, trying to offer him some semblance of security.

With a quick nod, Liam cautiously moves down the hall and Cheyenne returns her full attention to Edmond she still holds at knife point. Feeling like a woman riding on the edge of something there's no coming back from, like a woman gone mad.

Looking him square in the eye, Cheyenne doesn't flinch. "Don't ever lay a hand on one of my kids again."

Edmond's eyes narrow with disgust before his lip slowly snarls. "That's funny. I thought they were our kids."

With a quick shake of her head, Cheyenne sets him straight, so there will never be any confusion again.

"I may have to put up with your shit, but the kids are mine." Her voice is precise and lethal as her gaze drills into him.

Her hand holds the blade steady to his neck, daring him to give her a reason, because in that moment, she's never hated someone more.

"This family is-" Edmond starts up before Cheyenne swiftly cuts him off.

"Never touch my kids. And if you do, I'll cut you down, Edmond. I don't care what happens to me because of it. Do you understand me?" Cheyenne swears it as her eyes drill unflinchingly into his.

No one hurts her children, no one. Growing up without a mother, Cheyenne had stumbled into motherhood blindly and unsure, but learned pretty quickly there is nothing that matters more and nothing she wouldn't do for her kids. Nothing.

Having made her point, Cheyenne takes a slow step back, but keeps the knife raised and ready if he decides to make a move.

Moving to her crying baby girl, she unlatches her from the highchair with her free hand and quickly lifts her baby to her.

Holding her close as she tries to calm her tears. "Shhh baby girl, mommy's here. It's ok." She whispers soothingly.

"Crazy bitch," Edmond mutters out before storming past her and into the backyard.

Cheyenne spins around, following his every movement, keeping her eyes on him as he sulks on the back patio.

The sound of Liam's quick little steps, catches her attention. Spotting her little boy charging down the hall bags in hand, Cheyenne slips the blade down the back of her jeans so only the handle pokes free, she grabs her purse and keys and leads her kids away from the wreckage.

Sure of one thing as they escape out the front door and move for her car- she has to get her kids out of here. Whatever it takes, whatever she has to do. She has to make a plan. She has to get them out.

* * *

When the guys finally get out everyone is there to greet them. It's like a goddamn club wide holiday and the excitement and nerves racing through Cheyenne's veins can barely be contained.

Her stomach has been in knots all day, unsure what to expect. But for the first time in two years, a breath of hope has been lit inside her, some semblance of a safety net, Jax has no idea how bad it's gotten, her old man still doesn't know the truth, but at least she knows if she really needs them, she will have someone to turn to.

She only prayers they'll understand her plans moving forward. Pray they'll understand what she has to do.

Cheyenne's heart is jumping like a jackhammer, more fierce than the roar of their engines as the guys ride in.

Jax is at the front of the pack with Clay and she can already see the croweaters swarming to get a piece of their prince returned home.

She tries not to let that irritate her. Reminding herself things are different now. She's changed and he probably has too. Whatever they had is in the past. It's about their kids now.

Her gaze drifts to her dad as Liam races to his grandpa as soon as Tig gets off his bike. Hollering in delight as he runs as fast as his little legs will go. Winning the first hug before Cheyenne reaches her dad and pulls him into a big hug.

"Welcome home daddy." She tells him as her smile stretches from ear to ear.

All her fears and anxiety washed away with the sight of her old man's smiling face. Despite all the shit their relationship has gone through over the past few years, she'll always be a daddy's girl. He's the man that raised her, only parent she has, and one hell of a grandpa.

Giving Liam a quick kiss on his forehead, Tig puts the little boy down as he turns to the baby sitting on his daughter's hip.

"Is this my granddaughter?" He asks rhetorically, the excitement lighting up his normally guarded eyes.

"The one and only. Ella this is your grandpa." Cheyenne laughs as she hands Ella off to her grandpa.

Her heart swelling in her chest as he finally holds her for the first time. She had thought about bringing her during visits so many times, but it felt seemed safe.

"My granddaughter everyone!" Tig announces to the welcome home party filling the lot, holding the baby proudly in the air as laughter spills from his proud smiling lips.

Cheyenne is so caught up in the excitement she almost misses who Liam runs after next.

"Uncle Jax!" He hollers, running full speed across the blacktop.

Cheyenne catches the site of him just in time to see Jax toss her boy in the air before settling him in his arms and heading her way.

Cheyenne suddenly becomes keenly aware of Edmond at her side. She had almost forgotten he was there in the all the excitement, but as Jax draws near it becomes painfully obvious.

The closer Jax gets the more overcome with him Cheyenne feels. Her heart races, her breath quickens. It's a feeling she fights to extinguish.

She reminds herself that she doesn't know who he is anymore. Hasn't seen him in two years. And they had ended it when he went behind bars.

She hopes she'll have his support if she needs it in the days to come, for the sake of their children, but she's not sure where they fit in this plan. She's not sure of anything where he's concerned.

The smirk on Jax's lips as he reaches Cheyenne and Edmond draws her in. It's welcoming and soothingly familiar.

"Hi Darlin'." He greets with a smooth swagger no one does better.

Cheyenne finds herself leaning in for a side hug, but Jax surprises her as he places a quick kiss upon her cheek and their eyes catch as he pulls back.

Those piercing blue eyes that suck the air out of her lungs with a glance. She had thought she had gotten past her love for Jax, but seeing him now, Cheyenne knows she was wrong.

But she also knows that's something she can't let show. Not with Edmond and her dad watching their interaction so carefully.

Jax offers Edmond a quick nod before turning back to Tig and the baby girl in his arms.

"And who's this little beauty?" Jax asks, the shift in his breath something only she would recognize.

His gaze finds Cheyenne again. Subtle, but the unspoken question in his pupil sends her heart racing all over again.

"That's my baby sister Ella." Liam chimes in from Jax's arms like a proud big brother.

"Is that so?" Jax plays along. "And I bet you're a great big brother to her, huh?"

"Yeah, I am." Liam nods confidently, taking his big brother duties very seriously for a five-year-old.

Cheyenne's heart breaks as father and daughter finally meet. She's filled with a gut churning guilt as Jax turns to his baby girl, reaching out as Ella takes ahold of his finger and starts to giggle when Jax pretends to eat her hand.

A smile twitches on the corner of Cheyenne's lips, tears threaten to form as she struggles to remain neutral while her throat tightens with emotion.

She finally sees the weight of her choice to keep Ella and Liam from him while he was in prison. To keep his daughter from him for the first year and half of her life. Even if at the time it just felt too risky to take her babies.

* * *

Cheyenne had spent the morning like Gemma and most of the croweaters, getting the clubhouse ready for the guys return home.

One of the guys had crashed in Jax's room the night before, and with Cheyenne's help, Gemma had spent the morning changing sheets and cleaning up, but still she realized at the last minute she left a stack of dirty dishes on his dresser.

Wanting everything to be perfect for her baby boy's return home, Gemma had been insistent on getting it, but with her elbow's deep hauling in food and drinks for the party already getting underway, she asked Cheyenne to grab it.

Cheyenne had hesitant at first to go back to Jax's room alone, but wanting to help, she brushed her nerves aside.

Giving the door a quick knock just to be sure no one is in there, Cheyenne enters Jax's room.

Her gaze sweeps over the room, but seeing no one she feels safe to enter.

Finding the pile of dishes Gemma had mentioned over by the bathroom door, Cheyenne moves to grab it when an unexpected noise from behind her startles Cheyenne, and sends her jumping and spinning back around.

"Sorry, it's just me darlin'." Jax laughes as he suddenly appears by the door before slowly closing it behind him.

Pausing for a moment to take the sight of her in, take in the woman he loves. She's as gorgeous as ever. Her long wavy blonde hair hanging around her like a veil. Her sexy little pout and soulful eyes, but what he hadn't anticipated, though he knows he should have, is the panic in her pupil.

Needing to be near her like he needs air to breath, Jax takes a few cautious steps her way, their eyes locked for every second.

Cheyenne heart races uncontrollably as he nears her. She knows they shouldn't be alone together. It's a bad idea. Why she hadn't wanted to come into his room to begin with.

"Your hair," She finally notes, making small talk. It was one of first things that caught her attention when he took off his helmet. As long as she's known Jax he's always kept it long.

Running a hand over his short, trimly cut hair, Jax licks his lips and smirks at her again. "Thought it was time for a change. You don't like it?"

The way his tongue drags over his lips sends heat flooding through her veins. "It looks good." She nods.

Everybody's in the club house, Edmond's in the clubhouse, but when Cheyenne sees it, it weakens her resolve. Sees it in the way Jax's eyes light up so bright when he smiles at her. He hasn't changed. This is the same Jax she's always known and loved.

That realization feels like a weight off her heart, like releasing a breath she didn't know she had been holding.

Emotion strangles her throat with the realization that he's back. Not some stranger made hard behind bars. Not a shell of the man she knew and loved.

And while she knows thing can never be what they were before, just having him back is enough to send tears filling her eyes as she lunges for Jax, his open arms reaching for her as she does.

Cheyenne wraps her arms desperately around his neck as she buries her face into the crook of it.

Nuzzling his skin, she sucks in a deep breath of his scent. A smell she's been deprived of for two years. A smell that comforts and sooths her to the deepest parts of her soul.

Everything she's been through the past two years' surfaces with the safety she finds in his arms. She can't hold back the tears that call forth from her broken heart as she clings desperately to him.

In the back of her mind, she knows she shouldn't be holding Jax like this, if someone found them alone and tangled up so close, there would be hell to pay, but she can't make herself let go.

Feeling Jax hold her back just as tight, Cheyenne is reminded how right this is. Jax's hand cradles the back of her head as the other wraps around the curve of her back, holding her flush against him.

Clinging to her, letting her smell fills his lungs, letting the feel of her body and breath bring him back to life, Jax doesn't ever want to let go.

This moment and seeing his kids was all he could think about for the past two years. Getting back to them. Having the girl he loves back in his arms where she is belongs.

But as Jax soaks up the feeling of finally having her back in his arms, he becomes painfully aware she's trembling. Shaking in his arms, her breath shuttered and thick against his neck.

"Chey, you're shaking. What's wrong, babe? What happened while I was gone?" Jax probes, holding her close, burying the side of his face against the shell of her ear and hair.

Wishing he could take it all back. Erase the last two years, stop everything that preceded his incarceration.

Wishing he never left her here alone with that monster. A nightmare he always knew in the pit of his stomach she was stuck in. This was always his fear, what was happening to his family while he was inside.

Shaking her head slowly, Cheyenne doesn't want to get into it. Now isn't the time. She didn't even mean to fall into his arms. The response had just been so visceral she couldn't stop it.

Pulling back, she meets his eyes, but he doesn't let her go.

"It's good to have you home." She smiles weakly, a shadow of sadness still in her eyes as she hides what's ugly with a softer truth.

Gently cupping her cheek, Jax wipes a tear away with his thumb as they stand just a breath apart, eyes locked.

Having her so close, the depth of her gaze, the heat of her breath, the taste of escape, their gaze shifts in a dangerous way. He's missed her so damn much. Deprived of her for far too long.

The pounding in Cheyenne's heart tells her what is coming before she ever feels his lip come down to her own.

The kiss is tentative, careful, and unsure. Their mouths brush faintly with uncertainty before pulling apart.

Jax's head rests against her own, sucking in her breath, his fingers dig into her hair as her whole body sparks to life under his touch.

Her breath grows labored as does his as they lose all good sense.

"Cheyenne…" Jax whispers, his breath warm and begging against her lips like a man starved for far too long.

That's all Cheyenne needs. Having gone without his love for so long. Having gone without him. That was all she needed to fall back into Jax.

Her heart pounds hard as they meet in a fierce kiss.

Jax's hands grab desperately at her face as all reason is cast aside. Their mouths battle, a war of tongues, teeth, and lips.

Stumbling about the room until Cheyenne's back falls heavy against the dorm door as Jax body's pushes flush against her own, pinning her to it.

Desperate for every piece of the other. Their lips devour as Cheyenne wildly grabs for his zipped up hoodie and starts yanking the zipper down.

Like savages ravenous to devour every touch and taste of each other. Jax tugs his jacket free from his arms as hers wrap around his neck and yank him closer. Needing him like she's never needed him before.

Jax kisses her senseless as his arms wrap around the small of her back and pull her body flush against him. Curving her body into his.

Every fiber in Cheyenne is calling Jax's name, her heart races out of control against his touch, his kiss, his taste.

As her heart pounds frantically for him, only him. She had forgotten how deep her love for him ran. How powerful it was.

They move at a frantic pace, like reaching air after nearly drowning, they're desperate for more.

His name sighs heavy off her lips in between kisses as Jax's hands roam urgently over his hips, up her waist, before slipping under her shirt, desperate to touch her skin.

Cheyenne can't breathe against Jax's kiss, can barely think against his touch. She didn't know how badly she wanted this. How badly she missed him until he was truly hers once again.

But a brief moment of clarity hits her hard as Jax starts to tug her shirt off her body. He may still be Jax, but she's not the girl he left behind. She can't be. Not anymore.

Not when it's her kids who pay the price. Not when it's her kids who need her focused and driven to get them free.

With what strength she can muster, Cheyenne pushes Jax back as she stumbles out of his arms and away from him.

"No, no, no…" She keeps repeating on a haphazard breath.

Running her hands through her hair, over her face and her lips. Trying desperately to catch her breath, trying to regain some composure as her body hums with a desperate need to feel his touch again.

Hearing Jax move toward her, Cheyenne throws her hand up in warning.

"Don't." She practically begs him, because she can feel it in her heart. If he touches her again, kisses her again, she's not going to be able to fight this.

"I can't, I can't do this." Cheyenne blurts out, begging herself to believe it, to be strong enough. Strong enough to put her babies first, even before her love for him.

"I can't be alone with you." She finally admits to herself, her words resonating as a sad truth.

Moving for quick the door, Jax steps in front of her, reaching out for her shoulder only to watch her recoil from his touch. "Cheyenne…"

Staring into the eyes of the man she loves so deeply, Cheyenne's heart physical aches in her chest.

"I don't trust myself when I'm alone with you." She whispers out, before pushing past him and out the door.

Going after her, Jax catches Cheyenne before she can get down the hall. Grabbing her arm to halt her, only to drop it as their eyes meet.

"Cheyenne wait, I have to know. Ella… is she?" Jax can't say it, his heart breaks to even say that much, but he has to know.

That day in the prison still haunts him. When Tig caught up with him after a visit with Cheyenne, threw him against a wall when they were finally alone.

Got in his face, demanding to know if was the father of the baby growing inside his daughter.

Cheyenne had told Tig no, said it was Edmond's. But the timing hadn't felt right to Tig and it felt even worse to Jax.

The knowledge that Cheyenne was pregnant again made Jax's stomach hit the floor.

He had been desperate to see Cheyenne, learn the truth, but she wouldn't see him, wouldn't take his calls, and letters were too dangerous.

In his heart he had known, but now he needs to hear it. Needs to hear Cheyenne tell him that beautiful baby girl is his.

Tears fills Cheyenne's eyes but don't falls as she holds Jax's gaze and a defeated breath sighs heavy off her chest.

"What do you think, Jax?" She answers, a stray tear slipping from her eye before she quickly wipes it away.

Without another word, Cheyenne turns away from him and charges back down the hall.

Leaving Jax devastated with the news he always knew in his heart was true, but to finally hear the words, he finds himself being crushed under the weight of it.

* * *

The welcome home party at the clubhouse is a blur, Jax just can't get into it.

The women, the booze, the herb, it barely makes his radar. Countless women approach. Sexy hungry women and he's gone so long without one he practically feels like a horny teenager again.

His dick is desperate for release, but the will of his heart and mind are far stronger.

All he can think about is Cheyenne and his kids. His only concern for the last two years and now that he's home, they're the only thing he's focused on.

So once he's sure Edmond is well preoccupied, Jax sneaks off.

His knock is fast and sure on her front door. Jax figures he's the last person she wants to see, but he can't stay away.

The truth about his daughter has churned like poison in his belly all day. Left his mind clouded and preoccupied. He could think of nothing but them, his family.

When Cheyenne opens the door her eyes shoot wide with a start. Her face whips rapidly from side to side as her gaze sweeps up and down the street.

"What are you doing here? You shouldn't be here, Jax." Her panicked breath questions as she clutches Ella closer to her.

Eyeing the baby girl he now knows without a shadow of a doubt is his daughter, Jax feels his heart pick up its pace as his eyes hold glued upon his baby girl.

Her curly golden locks pillowed atop her head with a skull dotted bow, big blue eyes as rich as the sky, with a tiny little doll like mouth.

She looks so much like her mother, but there's something about her he could swear is all him.

Ella stares back at him. Her eyes blinking as Jax wishes with every beat of his heart she knew who he really was. Knew how much he loves her.

"Jax-" He hears Cheyenne snap, her eyes waiting impatiently for him to answer as his gaze returns to her. A silent fear blinding in her eyes.

"Edmond's at the club house. He's gonna be preoccupied for awhile. I just… I had to see them." Jax explains himself on a heavy breath. Has to see his kids like he needs to continue breathing.

Cheyenne holds steadfast for a long moment and Jax is reminded yet again she isn't the same girl he left behind. She's far more protective, scared and it kills him to think of what she's been facing alone, without him, to get her here.

Finally relenting, because she understands that need, that love for their kids, Cheyenne steps aside to let Jax in, closing the door behind him.

As soon as Liam sees who is here he jumps off the couch and races toward Jax.

"Uncle Jax!" The little boy hollers with excitement as he runs to him. Jax meets him on approach, crouching down to his size.

"Hey buddy," Jax smiles as he pulls his son into a big hug. Liam squeezes his neck tightly in return.

"Easy there Buddy, you're choking me. You got quite the grip." Jax laughs as he holds Liam in his arms. Soaking up the feel of having his son so close. Soaking up the strength of his grip. The softness of his silky blonde hair.

Pulling back, Liam's smile stretches from ear to ear.

"I'm happy your home." Liam beams.

Always so sweet. Liam is Cheyenne's sweet boy. He came into this world with a gentle heart. Something Cheyenne thanks God for everyday and prays every night growing up in this home wont steal it from him.

Jax's heart swells with the light in his son's eyes.

"Me too buddy. I'm gonna be here, any time you need me. From here on out." Jax says as he playfully ruffles his hair.

Slowly rising to his feet, Jax's gaze falls to Cheyenne before his eyes drift to the baby girl in her arms, his baby girl and for a moment all the air sucks out of his lungs in awe of her.

Cautiously, he steps to Cheyenne, her eyes barreling with uncertainty and something fiercely protective.

Tenderly his hand sweeps over his daughter's curly hair as her eyes are transfixed with him, taking him in for the second time that day. "Hi baby girl."

His heart grows unbearably heavy; emotion thickens his breath as Ella suddenly reaches out for him. Her tiny arms extended out, asking the only way she can for him to take her.

Here is his baby girl, his daughter that lives in a nightmare, believing another man is her father, a man that hurts her mother, and he's done nothing to protect her from that. Her or her brother. The guilt and regret that comes with that truth feels crushing on Jax's chest.

With an edge of uncertainty Cheyenne hands Ella to Jax, her cautious eyes barreling into his.

Jax's senses feel overwhelmed the moment he holds his daughter for the first time.

Overwhelmed with the weight of her in his arms. With the sweet baby smell surrounding her like an aura. The feel of her velvet skin beneath his rough hands.

Somehow she seems so much more delicate than he remembers Liam being. Something about her being his baby girl.

His heart pounds wildly as he gazes at her. And as she smiles at him in delight, her delicate little hand reaching out to play with his goatee, Jax's finally breaks.

Warm tears slide silently down his face as a pained smile widens on his lips.

Dad's should protect their little girl's and he's failed them so completely. The people he was should have protected before anyone else. The only people that should have mattered. Above the club, the patch, Clay, and his mom, but he had failed.

Jax can't fight the pain that comes with realizing he missed so much. Missed the first sixteen months of her life. Never got to see her growing in Cheyenne's belly and when he did see it with Liam, he didn't know how important it was.

He missed his kids being born. Missed giving Cheyenne support as she brought them into this world.

He missed their first kick, their first steps, their first words.

He missed so much living a lie that he had falsely convinced himself for so long helped him keep them safe, but now Jax sees it never kept them safer.

It just kept his dirty secrets and kept him away from the people who mattered most.

Leaning down, Jax rests his head gently against Ella's forehead as he breathes her in and his tears continue to fall.

In that moment he swears it all changes from here. He's going to do whatever it takes to keep them safe. To protect his kids.

"I love you so much." His voice cracks as the words break free.

Sucking back the tears, Jax's face rises, his tear stained face turns to meet Cheyenne.

"I'm so sorry." He apologizes.

For doing this to her. For putting two kids on her the world could never know were his. Leaving her here alone to raise them with that monster. For being the kind of father he swore he'd never be. He had his reasons, he knows he did. They both did. But none of that matters anymore.

Watching as tears hinge in her eyes, but never fall, Jax reaches out for Cheyenne. Pulling her to him and into a tender kiss that speaks like an apology.

Cheyenne lingers at his lips, before slowly pulling back.

Her gaze falls to her son seated on the couch watching them so carefully. Taking a step back from Jax a guilt finds her again.

She holds so much guilt where Liam is concerned. He's a good boy, but he's seen too much. Been through too much.

And seeing his mom kissing Jax she fears will be just another moment of confusion in his short turbulent life.

She never wanted this chaos for him, this uncertainty, but she's determine to get him and his sister a better life. Get them out of this mess once and for all. As clean and painlessly as she can. And hopefully one day she can tell him the truth.

Turning back to Jax the words Cheyenne's says next change everything.

"My babies aren't mistakes. I don't want your apologizes. I want your help."

* * *

 **Note:** I had originally wanted to miraculously spare Liam the horrors of his home life, but being the realist I am, I couldn't. I don't believe you can hide your kids from abuse. If it's happening in their home, in their life, even if not directly to them, they're going to know. Kids are amazingly observant. They know even what we don't want them to. So even though I had not originally wanted to, Liam will in some way end up like Abel. In the sense that he was sort of the sacrificed lamb out of Jax's kids. Being the oldest, he saw too much, endured too much. And Liam being five now, growing up in all this dysfunction, he is aware of it now too. And it will manifest itself in it's own way.

With that said, what do you think? The stakes just keep getting higher. Will Cheyenne be able to break free? What's her plan? Can Jax help her and his kids? Oh and I always liked the idea of Jax having a daughter. I always imagined he'd be very sweet with his baby girl. Let me know what you like, what you don't like, everything's fair game. And Thank you to everyone who has hung in here with this twisted story.


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